‘Illegally Thin’ | DNP Weight Loss and Government Conspiracy

DNP weight loss story will sell well

Beware promises of magic.

Beware promises of magic.

My prediction for the next book that will skyrocket in sales: “Illegally Thin,” a book about DNP weight loss by someone who goes by the name Random Knight. This book has got everything: A supposed “miracle drug” that helps people lose weight. A government conspiracy. Crime.

Yep, now that word has gotten out about “Illegally Thin,” I predict we’ll see it on the best-sellers list almost as fast as you can get an online personal loan. Here are five reasons this book about DNP weight loss is destined for high sales.

1. People want to lose weight ‘the easy way’

“Illegally Thin” is a book about “the most valuable drug ever discovered” and DNP weight loss, or so says the product description that people marketing this book are circulating. The promoters also claim:

“It is a fat burning drug, clinically proven to be so effective; it could quickly, safely and easily rid the world of all problems related to excess body fat.”

Safely? Easily? Completely rid the world of problems related to excess body fat? In case you haven’t guessed yet, I find these claims outlandish and impossible. However, I predict at least a million Americans will be willing to spend $20 to find out if these claims are true. Anything labeled “fast” and “easy” and “weight loss” usually makes a killing in the U.S., even though it either doesn’t work or kills people.

2. Everyone likes a good conspiracy

The cover of “Illegally Thin” reads:

Discover why our government is unjustly keeping this drug from us and learn all about the present day underground use of it.

Government? Unjust? Keeping it from us? Again, strong words crafted by an obviously savvy marketing team. And on the literary front, now we have an enemy! A protagonist! And it’s the government. People love to read about and see documentaries about government conspiracies. And how dare they keep us from this magical weight loss pill?

3. Crime is so hot right now

If you have basic cable, I challenge you to find a time of day — besides the infomercial hours — when there isn’t a crime drama airing. CSI, NCIS, Law & Order, Fringe, True Hollywood Story Investigates, Snapped, 48 Hours … you get the point.

That little phrase “underground use” of the DNP weight loss drug will no doubt catch the attention of crime drama lovers. Crime stories are statistically among the most-read stories in newspapers across the country. So, add a criminal element to a government conspiracy and the ever-elusive miracle weight loss drug and voila, you have a best seller.

4. Promises of safety

Thanks to the Internet, which actually is magic, it’s out there that  “Illegally Thin” is about 2,4-Dinitrophenol or the DNP weight loss drug.

Mind you, I do not think that the future purchasers of “Illegally Thin” haven’t considered the fact that most diet pills that delivered quick, effortless weight loss turned out to be very dangerous. But the copywriters for “Illegally Thin” have thought of that as well. A summary of “Illegally Thin” from Atlas Books states:

“Stanford University Medical Clinic reports, along with 5 years of use by the American public before it was illegalized, that proves this drug is perfectly safe and does no harm to people when used with all the proper precautions.”

5. The quickest of quick fixes

It’s the line that follows the “perfectly safe” claim that really makes me doubt said safety claims: “It is so effective, people have lost 1/2 – 1 lb. of fat per day while on it.” Well, that and the fact that these Stanford University Medical Clinic reports are from the 1930s.

But, still, I predict that hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people, will see this suggestion that they can lose five pounds in a week by doing nothing but taking a pill and they’ll spend the $20. The only thing Americans love more than a quick fix is a quicker fix. But before you start using the DNP weight loss drug, read up on the reasons it was banned. It works by converting energy into heat, meaning a rise in body temperature. DNP weight loss was banned because it caused fatal fevers.

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