A Gallon of Scorpion Venom Will Kill Your Budget

Measuring Your Debt Relief by the Gallon

"Yessss! Thissss will cost them!"

"Yessss! Thissss will cost them!"

It has been said that the average human being should take in eight to 10 eight-ounce glasses of water per day for optimal health and survival. That’s a rule of thumb, really. But what does this mean for those of us who insist upon drinking store-bought bottled water? Remember, we’re living in a recession where debt relief comes at a premium. Are you going to continuous shell out $1 or $2 to keep yourself alive? Are you honestly worth that much?

All kidding aside (or was I…?), bottled water is an expensive liquid. Now, if you’re bottling tap water (like Dasani used to do), it isn’t so bad. It only becomes a logistical issue if you live in Uganda, run a water park or are a farmer who needs to use it by the acre foot, which is 325,851 gallons for those of you who need to know. If you’re all three of these things, you lead a complicated and confusing life. Debt relief may be necessary.

Take a Cockeyed View of Liquid

That’s what Cockeyed.com did for a recent science experiment regarding the most expensive liquids. Breaking it down by liquid type, container size in ounces, price per container and the computed price per gallon, we see that so many of the consumer products we use have placed us squarely on the dock overlooking dire financial waters. Let’s jump in and assess the damages, shall we?

Jim CAN Have a Second Cup of Coffee at Home!

That’s because Folgers black coffee costs only $.70 per gallon (before preparation). If only we could put a tiger in our car’s tank for so little, but no; $3.05 per gallon of 87 octane unleaded is the story of our commuting pain. If gas cost as little as coffee, I’d bust through a wall like the Kool-Aid guy, but then it would take $1.85 to fill me up with that sugary powder.

Too much Kool-Aid upsets the tummy, which could lead to the need to bleach those whites. Clorox clocks in at $2.20 per gallon for milky white whites, which beats $3.79 for a gallon of lowfat milk but doesn’t taste as good. If you’re really looking to do yourself in (which I unequivocally do NOT recommend) and you are in the process of winterizing your car, you may have some antifreeze in the garage. That stuff costs $4.19 per gallon, but remember that you’re worth so much more. Try to forget what troubles you over a gallon of Carlo Rossi blush vino, a steal at $5.65.

You Have to Break Some Eggs to Make a Gallon of Eggs

$5.76 a gallon should do it there, plus $6.40 for a gallon of Evian water to wash it all down. I told you that debt relief is necessary for bottled water fanatics, didn’t I? If you need more flavor to wash that Rocky Balboa protein shake taste out of your mouth, there’s always $8.20 for a gallon of Coca-Cola syrup… or $8.88 for a gallon of Budweiser – really cheap, clearance-priced Budweiser, befitting the quality of the “King of Beers.”

CLICK HERE and see what it takes to work off those carbs and avoid administering roofies to yourself and others.

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