Cheryl Mahers $150,000 hot tub ride with Kevin Garn

Utah House Majority Leader Kevin Garn (Photo:

UPDATE: Kevin Garn has resigned from the Utah legislature.

Political sex scandals – now serving Ms. Cheryl Maher and Mr. Kevin Garn! – are like newspaper lining a birdcage. No matter what happens, some part of you is going to get dirty, whether you bend down to read the headlines and get yellow ink on your hands, or simply get caught in the rain.

People make decisions that dirty themselves and others. Perhaps we dirty ourselves by electing officials who pay $150,000 in hush money (taxpayer funds?) as Utah House Majority Leader Kevin Garn did when he ran for Congress in 2002. He and Cheryl Maher had something “inappropriate” going, as we’ll see from Salt Lake City Tribune reports. There was payday cash because of advances he made.

Cheryl Maher and Kevin Garn: the 1985 hot tub time machine edition

Cheryl Maher’s recent return and Kevin Garn’s acknowledgment that her story is “essentially true” make this trip very necessary to satisfy our lurid desires. With wife Tanya by his side, Kevin Garn admitted to giving Cheryl Maher $150,000 to keep their relationship quiet. This mid-1980s relationship involved a 30-year-old Kevin Garn, a 15-year-old Cheryl Maher, hot tubs, nudity and a decent into pharmaceutical purgatory for Maher. Mix in some Schnapps and you have a bad time all around.

Fools and fabulists, heal thyselves

We must always keep our eyes on the prize, and in this case the prize for Kevin Garn is entitlement and self-aggrandizement. He told The Tribune via phone, “I did not want to lash out and hurt anybody. This has just been a nightmare for me… I just want to tell the truth because it’s part of the healing process for me.” Captain, it seems that we’ve entered the Forest of Me. Shall I open a com channel?

People will question why the news surfaced in 2002

That is of course when Kevin Garn was running for Congress. Of course he could have denied everything, but he didn’t. So there appears to be no mystery there. Garn and his wife met with Cheryl Maher and her LDS bishop. Apologies were shared, and I’m sure they were all bathed in light, a la John Belushi in “The Blues Brothers.”

Later, Garn offered Maher a $20,000 bribe. Maher and her husband turned the extortion dial (according to Garn) and got the number up to $150,000. Kevin Garn paid the larger sum, a non-disclosure agreement was put into place and the parties went on with their lives. For Kevin Garn, he claims he “treated this no different than any other event in my life.” You lead a messy life, sir. If you are credit challenged, perhaps fast cash loans can help.

Cheryl Maher wanted justice

She apparently made contact with Kevin Garn, his eldest son and members of Congress to make it happen. Garn is claiming she wants more money, and perhaps that’s true. Or perhaps it is what she says it is. Either way, how can Kevin Garn not be sure of how this will affect his political future? Does he typically need to form a focus group in order to determine where his bread is buttered?

But I see little hope for any justice for Cheryl Maher, if it is indeed what she seeks. Utah lawmakers are lining up to support Kevin Garn; they’re closing ranks and pouring their support. One told the Tribune, “I know not of the man you speak of, but I know the man I consider a friend, a leader and an asset to the State of Utah and I would ask our fellow colleagues that our hearts might be open.” Feel the love now. Get back to your lusty schedule when convenient.

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