Without an online payday loan - a type of online cash advance – aliens would have kidnapped my cat and changed it into one of the Kentucky Derby 2009 field. I couldn’t live with that on my conscience.

I’m listening to a Halloween rebroadcast of the classic Mercury Theatre on the Air radio production of “War of the Worlds.” The lights are low and I’m feeling fine, even though I am alone, in the dark and by myself. OK, that’s only partly true. I’m creeped out, man. Orson Welles has me glued to my chair.

First aired on October 30, 1938, “War of the Worlds” still has the power to scare listeners, even though today we’re supposedly more sophisticated and understand that a Martian invasion isn’t really happening. I know that logically, but with the signs of water that we’ve recently discovered on Mars, I can’t be too sure. Once the giant, flaming Martian cylinder falls on Grover’s Mill, New Jersey at 8:50 p.m., the roots begin to work their way into my mind.

They Come From Beyond

As the news reporter struggles for words to explain the foreboding mystery monolith from the deep, dark sky, the hairs stand up on my neck and my heart speeds up to a half-run – a “what’s going on here” prelude to a hell-bent sprint for my life. Once the craft opens, revealing the salivating gray snake creature, my mind is screaming out of the ballpark. I have to hold on for dear life to my chair, white-knuckled, or risk stumbling over my shoes and becoming one with the radiator. Luckily, my cat isn’t around to see me like this; he looks to me for strength. He’s a very odd cat.

I’m managing not to have a heart attack, and then the military begins to bomb the vile space conquerors. As soon as the bombs go off, I hear a series of strange sounds that aren’t part of the program. Out on the lawn there is such a clatter, I wake from fear to see what’s the matter. I run outside (managing not to trip on my shoes, or put them on) and discover some neighbor kids dressed in alien costumes. They’re terrorizing my poor cat with their Martian masks! I have to help him!

Casualties of War and the Need for an Online Payday Loan

Gathering all the strength I can muster, I run at the kids like a Martian-stomping machine. Or a mildly annoyed soccer fan. Or something like that. Anyway, I manage to scare the kids away and give kitty an escape route.

Unfortunately, I also roll my right ankle as I step in that pothole in my driveway that I’ve been meaning to fix but never have the time or money. Kitty runs in the house, I writhe around on the ground in pain and the Martian kids give me a rotten drive-by egging before returning to their mother ship.

Payday Loans Ain’t No Garbage

The following morning, I’m still there in the driveway. Something has to be broken in there, because it hurts way too much to move, or even crawl. It isn’t until the garbage man comes that somebody calls an ambulance.

The hospital takes care of me, and I come home on crutches. I’m extra careful not to plant a crutch in that damned hole in the driveway. That’s when it hits me. I’ve used a payday loan from Personal Money Market before – why not now? Rather than waiting for a more serious injury to happen, I apply for a loan and get enough money to repair the damaged driveway. Once I’m on my feet again, I’ll break out the cement and tools I bought and do the job.

And if those kids show up again, there’ll be a war of the worlds of a different kind…

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That Kruger sped by on his Vespa. It looked like he had one menacing red eye… (Photo: flickr.com)

OK, so this is a story about something called quick payday loans. My brother and I had some fun with a neighbor’s cat, and the weird dude owner threw a rock that broke our car window, and dad needed the extra cash to fix things up.

Here We Go, Into Space

It’s Halloween, and my parents are big fans of the old radio show “War of the Worlds,” so they convince my brother and I to dress up as a fugly Martian and go trick-or-treating in the neighborhood. I want to go to the school carnival, but my brother convinces me that we can have a lot of fun. Once he grabs a carton of eggs, he gets me on his wavelength.

Off to Kruger’s Universe

We’re wandering down Elm Street when we come to the house of Old Man Kruger and his spacey cat. He’s really weird. Through the plate glass window in his front yard, we frequently see him sitting there, listening to the radio and acting like a weirdo. How weird do I mean? He talks to the radio, screams and sometimes dances about like a withered, overly-caffeinated stilt-walker. He’s tall, too, so I think of stilts.

My brother Lemmy and I see his space cat wandering around in the front yard, so we decide to have a little fun. With an “oogah” and a “boogah,” we spook the kitty and manage to corner it. Neither of us are going to do anything nasty; we just love being Martians and teasing strange people and their pets.

Long story short, Kruger hurts himself as he’s trying to scare us off. We buzz him with the eggs as we ride off on our bikes, and Kruger curses us and our offal spawn.

Blast a Month Into the Future…

Lemmy and I are playing basketball in our driveway when Kruger speeds by on a Vespa and throws a rock our way. It barely misses my head, and it manages to break the windshield of my dad’s car. He gripes about how he doesn’t have the money to fix it right now, but I hear from mom that he’s thinking about going online to some company called Personal Money Market. They can loan him fast cash that he won’t have to pay back until his next payday. It isn’t very expensive, either, which is great, because I want him to buy me a new bike soon.

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Until the windshield is fixed, he’s riding my bike to work. Every morning, I hear him break out his best imitation of some old guy named Orson Welles: “Kruger, our worlds are at war…”

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