Anything to do with money is rough in this neck of the woods and I do my best to save wherever possible. My best tactic at the moment is not to buy anything, not even that pair of classy jeans hanging in the window of the men’s clothing department. I also invest fair amounts of time bringing my wife up to speed on the subject of economics and how to run a house on cooking oil fumes.

These are my rules:

• If we have one, don’t buy another one.
• Shop around first, you may find the same thing cheaper somewhere else.
• Do not feel sorry for the shopkeeper.
• The supermarket will not go bust if you miss a day.
• Look at the specials but make sure we need it before you buy it.
• Go to the supermarket with a list.
• When you have all the items on the list, you are done. Pay and leave.
• If you are short of housekeeping money apply for a Cash Advance at the Personal Money Store.

I think the rules are all very clear and easy to follow.

If you break the rules…

(Still under construction)

Look at all the great deals

One can save money every day. The problem is you have to buy in order to save. The deals change from day to day. Basically it’s all a plot to keep you from understanding exactly what’s happening. That pair of jeans that I slobbered over was $350 when I first saw them. Last month’s articles I sold would pay for them, but, I couldn’t do it. The next day they were marked at $299.99. Aha, I thought. Progress. I will wait this out. Sure enough, the following day they were $275. I gloated. Those jeans will soon be mine.

The days passed and the price kept dropping. Then they changed the marketing strategy. 3 pairs for $600. I stopped going to look. Who needs 3 pairs of jeans? Anyway I wear shorts most of the time.

Back in the supermarket

The supermarkets are great marketing strategists. The way they place the counters, the color of the floors, the subtle changes in decoration and the music that floats out over the sound systems. Everything is carefully designed and formulated to make you feel as though you have money to spend. The pricing is part of the game. One week sardines are $2 a tin and the next week they are $4 for 2 tins.

Last week I was buried deep in the start of an article and I heard my wife telling me that she was off to the supermarket. I grunted in response without missing a keystroke. Some time later I heard her come back into the house. “I got some great bargains!” she said flouncing into the study. I was close to my 500 words and didn’t look up. “It was 3 for 1 day!”

Tonight’s dinner, dear

My wife’s Chinese chicken is simply the best. It is served on a bed of rice. It is sweet and sour and the little pieces of chicken have been fried in a batter. Mmmmm. But tonight’s dish was different. “Excuse me, my love,” I said gently, “but what is the bed in this dish?” “Oh that? Remember the other day I told you about 3 for 1 day at the supermarket? Well that’s the rice I bought. 3 packets for $2!”

I guess there’s something missing from my rules, right?