I am writing this message to you because I got a payday loan last year from this Web site. It gave me the money I needed to patch up my driveway so I wouldn’t kill myself again.

The Overlords of Zog

Kill myself? Payday loan? Yeah, it sounds hokey. But I’m still kicking and still two steps ahead of the Overlords of Zog… that’s why you won’t find my name in the telephone directory. I’m too smart for them.

Last Halloween

OK, this happened to me last Halloween. I have no idea what those neighbor kids are going to try to pull this year, but I’ll be ready. And if I need a payday loan again, I’ll come here. They keep my data safe from alien invaders, which I appreciate.

Imagine a deep night, full of stars…

I’m listening to a Halloween rebroadcast of the classic Mercury Theatre on the Air radio production of “War of the Worlds.” The lights are low and I’m feeling fine, even though I am alone, in the dark and by myself. OK, that’s only partly true. I’m creeped out, man. Orson Welles has me glued to my chair.

War of the Worlds

First aired on October 30, 1938, “War of the Worlds” still has the power to scare listeners, even though today we’re supposedly more sophisticated and understand that a Martian invasion isn’t really happening. I know that logically, but with the signs of water that we’ve recently discovered on Mars, I can’t be too sure. Once the giant, flaming Martian cylinder falls on Grover’s Mill, New Jersey at 8:50 p.m., the roots begin to work their way into my mind.

Sprint for my life

As the news reporter struggles for words to explain the foreboding mystery monolith from the deep, dark sky, the hairs stand up on my neck and my heart speeds up to a half-run – a “what’s going on here” prelude to a hell-bent sprint for my life. Once the craft opens, revealing the salivating gray snake creature, my mind is screaming out of the ballpark. I have to hold on for dear life to my chair, white-knuckled, or risk stumbling over my shoes and becoming one with the radiator. Luckily, my cat isn’t around to see me like this; he looks to me for strength. He’s a very odd cat.

I love this stuff

I’m managing not to have a heart attack, and then the military begins to bomb the vile space conquerors. As soon as the bombs go off, I hear a series of strange sounds that aren’t part of the program. Out on the lawn there is such a clatter, I wake from fear to see what’s the matter. I run outside (managing not to trip on my shoes, or put them on) and discover some neighbor kids dressed in alien costumes. They’re terrorizing my poor cat with their Martian masks! I have to help him!

The Martian-stomping machine

Gathering all the strength I can muster, I run at the kids like a Martian-stomping machine. Or a mildly annoyed soccer fan. Or something like that. Anyway, I manage to scare the kids away and give kitty an escape route. Unfortunately, I also roll my right ankle as I step in that pothole in my driveway that I’ve been meaning to fix but never have the time or money. Kitty runs in the house, I writhe around on the ground in pain and the Martian kids give me a rotten drive-by egging before returning to their mother ship.

My defense shields failed to maintain hull integrity

The following morning, I’m still there in the driveway. Something has to be broken in there, because it hurts way too much to move, or even crawl. It isn’t until the garbage man comes that somebody calls an ambulance.

The hospital

The hospital takes care of me, and I come home on crutches. I’m extra careful not to plant a crutch in that damned hole in the driveway. That’s when it hits me. I’ve used a payday loan from this company before – why not now? Rather than waiting for a more serious injury to happen, I apply for a payday loan and get enough money to repair the damaged driveway. Once I’m back on my feet again, I break out the cement and tools I bought and do the job. It was therapeutic in a way the sound of a woo-woooing theremin can’t beat.

And if those kids show up again, there’ll be a war of the worlds of a different kind. I’ve got some surprises in store this coming October…

Related Video:

Ricardo Montalban and Patrick McGoohan R.I.P

Although both McGoohan and Montalban had successful film careers, both in cult films that have stood the test of time and box office smashes, it is their television roles that many people remember them the most for. Patrick McGoohan starred in the worldwide TV smash hit Danger Man, billed outside of the UK and other countries as Secret Agent, a forerunner to the Bond movies, which was brought back from a lengthy hiatus to capitalize on Bond’s popularity.

McGoohan had been approached for the role, but turned it down because he didn’t like the character, but after the end of the series he immediately launched into his next series, the short lived series The Prisoner. The Prisoner, which ran for only 17 episodes, about a man, a former British secret agent that is being held captive on a small island, who is perpetually trying to escape from his prison called “the village”, like a lot of people try to escape from overdraft fees through payday loans. The show became a cult phenomenon, which many remember him for.

McGoohan also starred in some serious Hollywood hits, such as Ice Station Zebra, A Time to Kill, and also as the treacherous English king in the Mel Gibson film Braveheart, as well as portraying the prison warden in Escape From Alcatraz, alongside Clint Eastwood. He had numerous other roles which he is remembered for, such as in the underground classic Scanners.

From Fantasy Island to space villain

Ricardo Montalban, perhaps the best known Mexican American actor of all time, started off in the late 40s and early fifties, playing character roles in film and television, including one appearance in a hit science fiction TV series that would later boost his career into overdrive. He made his big break in the late 1970s, as the star of the TV show Fantasy Island, which ran for six years.

His most well known film role came when a largely unknown writer decided to bring back a character he played for one episode in the late 60s for the smash hit sci-fi film Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Kahn. Montalban had been Kahn for one episode during the original series’ run, and the writers wanted a profound villain, resurrecting the character, and also the franchise, as it is the most successful film of all Star Treks. He would also go on to star in the Naked Gun series, and also in the Spy Kids franchise. His TV ads for the Chrysler Cordoba also made his legendary screen presence endeared to the public.

Long and illustrious careers

Both men will surely be missed. Along with long bodies of work, a lot of which was very good and well known, both were known as men of principle and rigorous ethics. Though they weren’t perhaps the best known names on the A List, they were certainly amongst its elite. So if you need to sort out a villainous expense that is about to put your finances out to sea, payday loans can get you the freedom you need.