My maternal great grandmother (my mother’s mother’s mother) was a spiritualist minister. I know very little of her history, but I remember that my grandmother once told me that she summoned spirits to ask questions and gather information. Her faith ventured into the realm of what we know as parapsychology. Spiritualists of that nature tend to believe in the Christian God, but in this case the spirits of the dead don’t wait for the call from the bullpen before they come out of their memorial tombs. That’s apparently where the spiritualist ministers came in, as medium guides (or is it shameless hucksters). If a medium “reveals” that your dear Aunt Gladys wants you to apply for pay day loans and put that fast cash on the collection plate, let rational sense prevail and look at your budget. If you need the money to help pay an important bill that’s late, let that be your guide.

The American psychic tradition is closely tied to spiritualist belief. Without the 19^th century showmen (and women) who tripped the spirit lights fantastic, there would be no Edgar Cayce, no Uri Geller and definitely no John Edward, psychic. Sometimes his name is misspelled Edwards, but psychic he is, nevertheless. And now he wants to bring you his special brand of quality psychic chicanery, courtesy of a new Web site called Infinite Quest.

Run by a team of psychic showpeople

Germain Lussier blogs on Twirlit that there are differing schools of thought on this popular psychic. Is he a genius? A fraud? Or something in between? Ask the people who appear in the studio audience of his television program and they’ll say that the connections Edward is able to make – the “psychic” inferences – are surprising. I say he knows how to manipulate the emotions of his audience and knows enough about human psychology to ask the kind of questions that make people think he’s forming a deep connection with them.

Your spiritual mulligan

In addition to the ability to access the help of real, honest-to-goodness circus performers and gerbil whisperers, there are sections on Infinite Quest that explain what the uninitiated need to know about the afterlife, positive and negative energy, the tarot, spiritual health and reincarnation (for your spiritual mulligan). Some of the information is free, but the “money shot” is reserved for paying customers.

Speaking of the money shot, John Edward recently appeared on Sean Hannity’s television spectacle on Fox News. According to Lussier, here’s what Edward had to say about the importance of Infinite Quest:

“I’ve been doing this work for 25 years. And I’ve been involved with astrology, numerology, you know, energy, alternative belief philosophy, reincarnation. And I want to give people the opportunity to say maybe,” he said.

Until the birds begin to nest in my skull and use my brain like a beanbag chair, I’ll say no. Since John Edward must know when I’m going to die, I’m sure he’ll be camped outside my house. If he hassles me before then, I’ll untie his laces with the power of my mind. If he needs new eyelets and aglets for his designer shoes, he can send the ghost of Elvis out for pay day loans and fast cash. That’ll be an infinite quest, all right…

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Maybe, just maybe, we are reading this economic tailspin thing all wrong. Perhaps it’s ordained up there in the sun or the moon or the stars? Perhaps we should stop bowing and praying to Taurus the Bull who stands outside the New York Stock Exchange and start edging closer to Aries the Ram. On March 21 the sun moves from Pisces to Aries. Could this help the economy? March 21 is also my day for applying for my Online Cash Advance. Could this help my personal economy?

Aries, the ram, is the first astrological sign in the Zodiac. In astrology, Aries is considered a masculine, positive, extrovert sign. It is also considered a fire sign, and is one of four cardinal signs. Aries is ruled by the planet Mars.

Traditional Aries Traits

What we need to do is to align our economy with the Traditional Aries Traits, making it:

• Adventurous and energetic.
• Pioneering and courageous.
• Enthusiastic and confident.
• Dynamic and quick-witted.

March 21 is the beginning of the new zodiacal year and Aries, the first sign, is therefore that of new beginnings. The young ram is adventurous, ambitious, impulsive, enthusiastic and full of energy. The Arian is a pioneer both in thought and action, very open to new ideas and a lover of freedom. They welcome challenges and will not be diverted from their purpose except by their own impatience, which will surface if they don’t get quick results.

Exactly what we need!

How about Financial Astrology

This subject is also known as business astrology, economic astrology or astro-economics. It is the practice of relating the movements of celestial bodies to events in financial markets. The scientific community considers astrology to be a pseudoscience.

Financial astrology is sometimes applied in the following ways:

• Predicting major economic trends as they relate to certain cycles, specifically on the cycles of outer planets
• Helping an investor find the best industry to be in for a particular period of time based on major planetary configurations
• Identifying the best stocks to own during a particular time period
• Identifying the best date and time to buy or sell a stock
• Correlating the Astrological aspect to the movement of stock market in day trading.

The practice carries the implicit belief that astrology is valid and influences human behavior. Although astrology is generally regarded in mainstream Western thought as having no logical basis, advocates of the efficient market hypothesis would also make the same claim with respect to most forms of technical analysis.

Don’t laugh

Evangeline Adams, born in 1868, was the best known American astrologer of her day. She was a well known practitioner of financial astrology. In 1929 she predicted that the stock market would continue to rise in price. On Labor Day, September 2, she told a reporter for radio station WJZ that “the Dow Jones could climb to heaven.” The next day the Dow Jones reached a record high that was not reached again until November 1954.

Adams was arrested twice in New York for fortune telling, in 1908 and May 1914. Although practicing astrology was not legalized at that time, Adams was later acquitted in 1914 after she gave the judge an accurate astrology reading describing the death of his son. Newspapers quoted the judge as saying that Adams “had raised astrology to the dignity of an exact science.”

Remember

ARIES is … new growth seeking to emerge