Recessionomics: Santa Claus robs yacht club

Monday, December 20th, 2010 By

A comic photograph of a “Bad Santa.” He's wearing brass knuckles and brandishing a baseball bat.

Don't leave this Bad Santa cookies – the sugar makes him hyper. (Photo Credit: CC BY-SA/Dan Century/Flickr)

As Christmas 2010 approaches, it appears that Santa’s sleigh is somewhat lighter than it has been in years past. Retail numbers have improved from those of Christmas 2009, but Santa is nervous; the Rhode Island newspaper headline “Santa Claus robs yacht club” is just another sign of the times, reports The Providence Journal.

Bad Santa robs rich yacht club

Yes, there is a Santa Claus, and that bad Santa needs spending money like you wouldn’t believe. Robbing a liquor store would be one thing, but when Santa Claus robs a yacht club, you know he’s kicking it upscale. According to Lt. Raymond Blinn of the Providence Police, a man dressed in a Santa Claus suit entered the East Providence Yacht Club on Pier Road Sunday evening at around 7 p.m. Santa’s goodie bag was empty, all the better to stuff with bills from the cash register. To make his ho-ho-holdup message clear, Kris Kringle whipped out what has been described by authorities as either a “shotgun or rifle-type gun.”

To the relief of children everywhere, no shots were fired and nobody was hurt when Santa Claus robbed the yacht club.

A potentially deadly caliber of Christmas

Buckshot is not typically associated with Santa Claus, which makes this craven display of felonious holiday cheer all the more jarring. Even if Bad Santa was merely packing rock salt, the trust of true believers may have been shaken. At least the so-called magic man dressed in red with snow-white beard was wearing jeans. That’s not elf-standard attire. Patrick Swayze would have picked up on the ruse immediately and dished out some “Roadhouse”-style justice. If it was indeed Santa, he could quickly fly up the chimney to escape a roundhouse kick.

As it stands, Bad Santa made off with some cash. Area police continue to investigate the case.


The Providence Journal

Another Santa has struck before

Previous Article

« Kroger recalls pet food for aflatoxin risk

Three brands of pet food sold in Kroger and Kroger-owned stores in 19 states have been recalled for a toxin that can cause liver failure... Old Yeller
Next Article

FCC net neutrality vote could end era of free and open Internet »

The FCC votes Dec. 21 on a net neutrality proposal that allows ISPs to charge a premium for traveling in the Internet fast lane ... end of free and open internet

Leave a Reply

Other recent posts by Steve Tarlow

Acción promotes success for Chicago microentrepreneurs

Acción is the microfinance company for small businesses in Chicago, Ill. Its 60-month installment loans for business are reasonably priced.
Aerial photo of the Chicago skyline, taken during daytime hours.

Holiday office parties and bad behavior do not mix

Holiday office parties are here, and the alcohol could be flowing. Avoid bad behavior, be thankful you have a job and make sure you keep it.
Image of a man, possibly drunk, who is puckering up for a kiss.

Germany must do more to avert economic crisis, says Cohen

German Chancellor Angela Merkel wants a euro zone 2.0, but critics wonder whether she is really willing to work to help make it happen...
Photograph of a fanned-out stack of euro bills.