Does Illinois earthquake portend coming of Blago, or Mothra?

Obama offers no comment due to teleprompter error; Burris feels article is unethical

Are they responsible for the Illinois earthquake? I think not. (Photo:

No Barack Obamas, Rod Blagojeviches or Roland Burrises were harmed in the making of this story. Thankfully, Mothra avoided the Chicago area and Ronald Jones of Southland avoided utility shut off with the help of payday loans. Yet there was an Illinois earthquake anyway.

The Illinois earthquake came before dawn

MSNBC reports that the 3.8 magnitude Illinois earthquake was felt as far away as Iowa and Indiana, but the U.S. Geological Survey indicates that no damage or injuries were reported. It began around 4 a.m. Wednesday in an area about 50 miles northwest of Chicagoland. Needless to say, an Illinois earthquake, Chicago earthquake or whatever you want to call it is exceedingly rare. Luckily it was small – or as a Sycamore Fire Department spokesman told the media, “just a little shake.”

Kane County – the next fault line?

Not exactly, but Sheriff’s had to deal with a large influx of calls from startled residents. dispatchers near the epicenter in Kane County have been flooded with calls from startled residents. Books were tossed from their shelves and some residents were tossed from their beds according to Sheriff’s dispatcher reports, but it was nothing too serious.

If this had indeed been an Illinois earthquake emergency, the twin fairy princesses would have appealed to the great Mothra to spare the people of Chicagoland. Interpretive dance would have ensued, and surely someone has misplaced their dancing shoes. Quick payday loans would be imperative.

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