The Hank Johnson Guam remark: Not an April Fools Day prank

The Hank Johnson Guam remarks signal a fitting for a Dunce Cap. From Wikimedia Commons

Occasionally, someone says something that is so foolish, one thinks it has to be fake. Then it turns out to be true, turning the remark from stupid and seemingly non sequitur to tragically farcical.  Just such an instance occurred recently when U.S. Representative Hank Johnson (D – GA) remarked that if any more U.S. troops were stationed on Guam, or if it were to become any more overpopulated, the island would “tip over and capsize.” (I have a headache now.) There are no guaranteed loans big enough to fix what’s wrong with the thought processes behind that statement. No – this is not an April Fool’s Day joke. Something that weird has to be real.

No April Fool’s Joke here – real people said this

In the spirit of that remark, I thought I’d offer a small list of things that actual people said in real life. Things that are so outrageously dumb, it’s almost unbelievable someone would open his or her mouth and actually say it. Without further ado:

Bill Clinton

“That depends on what the definition of ‘is’ is.” – Pres. Bill Clinton

I think we all remember this gem. There are no words, only the sound of my brain exploding.  Clinton also had bragged at one point about raising Arkansas’ national rank in education from 50th to 49th, during his term as Governor. To make it worse, he was a Rhodes Scholar.

Dan Quayle

“The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history.” – Former Vice President Dan Quayle

There is endless debate over what the dumbest thing ever uttered by George Bush’s (the first – Papa Bush) Vice President was.  Never mind that he also didn’t know how to spell “potato” and surmised that because there may have been water on Mars that humans could breathe there.  He was the butt of many jokes at that time, which of course, brings us to:

Joe Biden

“You cannot go into a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin’ Donuts without a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking.” – Vice President Joe Biden

I miss Dan Quayle.  Obviously, liberals are lacking just as much as conservatives, and with all the right-wing blather about “liberal elitism,” I’m waiting in the wings for an intelligent candidate of either party.    I’d donate extra cash to their campaign.

Rush Limbaugh

“It’s sort of like hazing, a fraternity prank. That sort of fun.” – Rush Limbaugh, about the torture of detainees at Guantanamo.

I chose this from among his many gaffes, or outright racist outbursts.  Since we’re on the subject, honorable mention to Bill O’Reilly and the Loofah/Falafel incident. (One is a sponge, and the other is food.)

Jessica Simpson

“I know it’s tuna…but it says Chicken of the Sea.” -“Actress Jessica Simpson.

I think we’re all familiar with this.  I don’t think anyone ever believed she became famous or popular because of her mental acuity.

Think before you speak — it can end up haunting you

The internet age means that there is greater accountability. If you do or say something tragically dumb, it is that much more likely to get photographed, taped or quoted, and uploaded.

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