A Gallon of Scorpion Venom Will Kill Your Budget

Monday, June 3rd, 2013 By

Measuring Your Debt Relief by the Gallon

"Yessss! Thissss will cost them!"

"Yessss! Thissss will cost them!"

It has been said that the average human being should take in eight to 10 eight-ounce glasses of water per day for optimal health and survival. That’s a rule of thumb, really. But what does this mean for those of us who insist upon drinking store-bought bottled water? Remember, we’re living in a recession where debt relief comes at a premium. Are you going to continuous shell out $1 or $2 to keep yourself alive? Are you honestly worth that much?

All kidding aside (or was I…?), bottled water is an expensive liquid. Now, if you’re bottling tap water (like Dasani used to do), it isn’t so bad. It only becomes a logistical issue if you live in Uganda, run a water park or are a farmer who needs to use it by the acre foot, which is 325,851 gallons for those of you who need to know. If you’re all three of these things, you lead a complicated and confusing life. Debt relief may be necessary.

Take a Cockeyed View of Liquid

That’s what Cockeyed.com did for a recent science experiment regarding the most expensive liquids. Breaking it down by liquid type, container size in ounces, price per container and the computed price per gallon, we see that so many of the consumer products we use have placed us squarely on the dock overlooking dire financial waters. Let’s jump in and assess the damages, shall we?

Jim CAN Have a Second Cup of Coffee at Home!

That’s because Folgers black coffee costs only $.70 per gallon (before preparation). If only we could put a tiger in our car’s tank for so little, but no; $3.05 per gallon of 87 octane unleaded is the story of our commuting pain. If gas cost as little as coffee, I’d bust through a wall like the Kool-Aid guy, but then it would take $1.85 to fill me up with that sugary powder.

Too much Kool-Aid upsets the tummy, which could lead to the need to bleach those whites. Clorox clocks in at $2.20 per gallon for milky white whites, which beats $3.79 for a gallon of lowfat milk but doesn’t taste as good. If you’re really looking to do yourself in (which I unequivocally do NOT recommend) and you are in the process of winterizing your car, you may have some antifreeze in the garage. That stuff costs $4.19 per gallon, but remember that you’re worth so much more. Try to forget what troubles you over a gallon of Carlo Rossi blush vino, a steal at $5.65.

You Have to Break Some Eggs to Make a Gallon of Eggs

$5.76 a gallon should do it there, plus $6.40 for a gallon of Evian water to wash it all down. I told you that debt relief is necessary for bottled water fanatics, didn’t I? If you need more flavor to wash that Rocky Balboa protein shake taste out of your mouth, there’s always $8.20 for a gallon of Coca-Cola syrup… or $8.88 for a gallon of Budweiser – really cheap, clearance-priced Budweiser, befitting the quality of the “King of Beers.”

CLICK HERE and see what it takes to work off those carbs and avoid administering roofies to yourself and others.

Previous Article

« Bernanke says Fed should regulate all banks

Bernanke opposes a draft Senate bill that would remove much of the Fed's supervisory role and limit its regulation to the largest banks...
Next Article

Federal Trade Commission shuts down work-from-home companies »

The Federal Trade Commission and Department of Justice have taken steps to shut down more than 90 work-from-home companies because of fraud. Work from home

This post has 2 comments

  1. Amr Fathy says:

    Dear Sir,

    We are company located in cairo, Egypt.

    Working in the field of Importing and Exporting.Our main activities are
    Exporting SCORPION VENOMS (powder) and SCORPION Leiurus quinquestriatus Egyptian.so we're in a position to supply you with what you want from the
    scorpions and scorpion venoms from type Androctonus australis, Scorpion Venom and Leiurus quinquestriatus Egyptian scorpion venom and Androctonus amoreuxi, Scorpion Venom and parabuthus liosoma .We are waiting for your reply.If you are interested you'll see what satisfies you.
    Send your ok, and we will send our own pricelist.We'll be appreciated to deal with your esteemed company.We therefore call upon only serious customers (Importers) to place orders

    Best regads

    Green point company

  2. Jorge says:

    Thanks for the great post – it’s a fascinating look at the differences in price for everyday (and not so everyday) liquids. It really does make you wonder about bottled water though!


Trackbacks / Pingbacks

    Leave a Reply

    Other recent posts by Steve Tarlow

    Racial discrimination evident in continued bank redlining

    Redlining still hasn't disappeared from minority banking, reports USA Today. Minorities are still shut out of many bank loans and mortgages.
    A white piggy bank, shaped like a grenade.

    Avoid the top 10 budget mistakes

    When it comes to making a budget, you can't afford not to do it. These top 10 budget mistakes are easily avoidable, so listen up.

    False foreclosures: More great news for homeowners

    Incidents involving false foreclosures are on the rise in the U.S., where the foreclosure process is now choked by inefficiency and fraud.
    Close-up of the door to a home. The door is cracked, as if it had been kicked open.