Death Risk Rankings | Are You Dead Yet?

Know how you’re most likely to die and be happy

Something about a reaping? (Photo:

Something about a reaping? (Photo:

Death by ferrets may be in your future, or cardiac arrest. Admittedly, it could be a freak game show accident. Whatever the case, you’re going to want to know what your risk of dying is, because it always pays to be prepared. That’s where Death Risk Rankings comes in. The results may be more conventional than ferrets and game show accidents; in fact, it’s mostly statistical. Know your odds, know your most likely means of death. If you like, get some fast cash and wager on those odds… just be sure not to bet against yourself. Not only would that be unintelligent, but in this case it would be unconscionable.

It needn’t be a self-fulfilling prophecy, however

FOX News reports that with Death Risk Rankings, you can get the odds on whether you’ll die next year or on any date you specify. Answer a few questions and the odds of your death will unfold before your very eyes! This is something you must know. If you need fast cash to keep your ISP from shutting you down, apply here… you must live long enough online to know how and when you’ll die!

Created by researchers at Carnegie Mellon University, Death Risk Rankings takes the answers to your questions and compares it with publicly available information from U.S. and European databases. Such things as mortality risks by gender, odds of death by age, death causes and odds of death by geographic region are all cross-analyzed against the data you provide Death Risk Rankings. Afterward, you’ll know the most probably cause of your death, as well as the probable time.

Hayley Mills and Lindsay Lohan are not in danger (immediate danger, at least)

If you’re one of the twins from “The Parent Trap” and you want to know which of you is more likely to die of breast cancer, Death Risk Rankings can help. It’s a beautiful thing. Keep in mind that the results at Death Risk Rankings are tailored to groups of society rather than individuals, so please don’t sue if unstable angina fail to strike you down at the predicted time. There are many variables in play. For instance, you could consume a bad pastry or contract a rare monkey disease. Who can say? Accidents do happen.

But don’t you just want to know?

That kind of knowledge warms the cockles like fast cash in the bank.

“It turns out that the British woman has a 33 percent higher risk of breast cancer death. But for lung/throat cancer, the results are almost reversed, and the Pennsylvania woman has a 29 percent higher risk,” explained Paul Fischbeck, Death Risk Rankings developer.

Economics professor David Gerard told FOX that “Most Americans don’t have a particularly good understanding of their own mortality risks, let alone ranking of their relevant risks.” In this way, Death Risk Rankings should prove to be a useful. Know if that Slip ‘n Slide will kill you, or whether you have a date with kidney failure. It could change the way you look at taking care of yourself.

By the numbers

According to Death Risk Rankings research, FOX reports the following benchmark data:

A 20-year-old U.S. woman has a 1 in 2,000 (or 0.05 percent) chance of dying in the next year, for example. By age 40, the risk is three times greater; by age 60, it is 16 times greater; and by age 80, it is 100 times greater (around 1 in 20 or 5 percent).

The risk becomes exponentially greater. However, Gerard takes some of the sting out of that octogenarian sentence by reminding us that “At 80, the average U.S. woman still has a 95 percent chance of making it to her 81st birthday.” You’ve come a long way, baby… what’s a little thing like Death Risk Rankings going to do to stop you now?

What about men? They die too, don’t they?

If you are indeed a zombie, you're throwing off the Death Risk Rankings curve. Stop it! (Photo:

If you are indeed a zombie, you're throwing off the Death Risk Rankings curve. Stop it! (Photo:

Yes, indeed they do, and Death Risk Rankings is there to cover the carnage. While studies by fast cash lenders show that men take advantage of fast cash more often than women, that doesn’t seem to save them from having a “much higher annual death risk” than females. The dark tale, as told by Death Risk Rankings:

For 20-year-olds, the risk is 2.5 to three times greater for men. Men are much more prone to accidents, homicides and suicides, and the risk of dying from heart disease is always higher for men than women, peaking in the 50s when men are 2.5 times at greater risk of dying.

Men have accidents. Women have cancer.

Women in their 30s and 40s show a higher instance of cancer than men, according to Death Risk Rankings. Racially, African-Americans are statistically more prone to heart disease and cancer than Caucasians. They’re also “twice as likely to die within the year as their white counterparts,” which could reflect socio-economic disparity and affiliation with negative peer groups. Yes, gang violence is what I’m talking about. It happens to all races, but Death Risk Rankings indicates a greater statistical chance that African-Americans will die in that age group. But Caucasians have a much higher (as much as three times greater) instance of suicide.

Young people tend to be more prone to death by accident. Death Risk Rankings doesn’t speculate as to why. I think it’s the psychological burden of knowing that some of them were accidents themselves. Whoops!

So large, no coffin would hold him

Obesity is a huge problem in the United States, much more so than in Europe per Death Risk Rankings. Fast cash on burgers and fries here would loosely translate to fast cash for a cup of coffee, maybe some tapas and real conversation (as opposed to texting or Facebook updates). Thanks to our horrible diets, Americans are generally more predisposed to diabetes (three times higher than Europeans, in the 60-year-old age range). If you love to supersize, Death Risk Rankings will make you a statistic.

Adding info to the health care reform debate

Yes, you knew this was coming. The statistics that indicate just how many people are failed by America’s imbalanced health care system – including those who may have taken care of themselves but still faced illness and could afford no insurance, you Social Darwinists – are right there, waiting to be exposed by Death Risk Rankings. Creator Fischbeck and Gerard see it as a useful tool in helping Congress decide.

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“We believe that this tool, which allows anyone to assess their own risk of dying and to compare their risks with counterparts in the United States and Europe, could help inform the public and constructively engage them in the debate,” Fischbeck said.

Get fast cash here. Check Death Risk Rankings to see how quickly you’ll need to spend it

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