Not a still from the film, and Halloween was weeks ago. Grow up, people. From Wikimedia Commons

That’s right, teenie-boppers and anyone else really into this whole vampire thing New Moon comes out Nov. 20th, and the New Moon reviews are starting to pour in.  The consensus among critics is that the film – you’ll have to pardon the pun – really BITES.  (Oh how am I NOT supposed to make that joke?) Rotten Tomatoes along some of the really big reviewers have decided that the novelty has worn off, and are giving the film a hiding.  Maybe payday loans for camping gear to await the premiere won’t be worth it.

Rotten Tomatoes

Even though some feel that Rotten Tomatoes is hit and miss at best, it’s one of most popular review sites for film on the internet.  RT gives New Moon a 30% score.  That is unflattering, to say the least.  Some comments from the New Moon page at RT describe the film as “toothless,” “the second bite was stale,” and one of my personal favorites, “if the first installment…was a celebration of teen sulkiness, this film positively drowns in it.” For some reason, I’m waiting for a two word review to come out saying something like…”Lame Moon.”  (Hello Cleveland!)

Roger Ebert and others

Roger Ebert, though he is at times far too kind to some films, didn’t spare the rod, or anything else when it came to this film.  He gave it one star from four, and one and zero star films are the ones that he pulls no punches with, and those are frankly the most entertaining of his reviews.  From his own website:

“New Moon…takes the tepid achievement of Twilight, guts it, and leaves it for undead.”

“The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan…Their charisma is by Madame Toussad.”

In case you wondered, Madame Toussad’s is a famous museum, or to the point, perhaps the most famous wax museum in the world.

“…sitting through this experience is like driving a pickup in low gear through a sullen sea of Brylcreem.”

Harsh! MTV’s Kurt Loder seemed to like it, saying the film was an improvement over Twilight BUT that “It’s a very silly picture, of course: Given the source material – Stephanie Meyer’s blathery teen novels – how could it not be?” and that lead actress Kirsten Stewart was a good actress in a “wooden role.”

Of course some critics did like it, but heaping praise on a movie that’s already popular and getting huge box office gates is too easy, and not nearly as fun as trashing it.  That said, movie critics are hit and miss at best, and some seem to be bought by studios outright.  (The movie critic in my hometown paper, for instance – oh, you know who you are, and an adult who only gives 4 star reviews only to Disney films is obviously in need of psychological evaluation.)  I wasn’t planning on putting any quick cash towards New Moon tickets so the New Moon reviews make little difference to me, and it looks like you might want to think twice yourself if you listen to critics.

It's bad for you (image by flickr)

The American Cancer Society is observing the Great American Smokeout 2009 on Thursday, November 19th.  The Great American Smokeout is observed the third Thursday of November, as a day where people are supposed to not smoke the entire day.  The event began in the late 70s, and the first Great American Smokeout, or at least the event with that title, was in 1977, in California. Less than 25% of Americans are smokers. The habit is not only bad for you, it’s also expensive.  Granted, spending less quick cash on the habit isn’t the best motivation for people to quit, as the health issue alone is sufficient.

The first event of it’s kind was in 1971

Though the first Great American Smokeout, or at least an event given that specific title, was held in 1977, the first observance of it’s kind took place in 1971.  Arthur Mullaney, of Randolph, Massachusetts, was a guidance counselor at the local high school and thought that if the school got a nickel for every cigarette butt he saw outside, they could send most of the students to college.  So he got an idea – get the town to stop smoking for a day, and donate what they would have spent on cigs to the school.  (The story is located on the American Cancer Society website.)  After getting the idea in the fall of 1970, they held the event the following February.  The students raised over $4,000 the first year and kept doing it every year since then.  They  formed committees to determine who got scholarship funds.  A few years later, a similar movement was successful in Minnesota as Lynn Smith, then editor of the Monticello Times, got participating Minnesotans to abstain on D-Day, or Don’t Smoke Day.

It always starts in California

In 1976, the California chapter of the American Cancer Society had a statewide smoke free day, calling it the Great American Smokeout, on November 18th.  In 1977, it went national, and it’s been an annual observance ever since. This is the 32nd year.

It has been working

Since the 1970s, the number of smoking Americans has declined, and not just because of deaths from the habit.  Though lung cancer remains the number one cause of death in cancer patients, the number one killer in the USA remains heart disease. Between 1965 and 2006, the percentage of people in the USA that smoke dropped from 42% to just over 20%.  It is slightly more prevalent in men than women, and more prevalent among those with a high school education or less, and also more prevalent in people who live close to or below the poverty line.

Quitting is difficult, but a worthwhile pursuit

More studies have shown that the “cold turkey” method is not the most reliable.  It has also been posted that it takes an average of 8 attempts at quitting before it will be successful.  Therapy, quitting aids, nicotine gum or patches, or even medications are all effective in kicking the butts to the curb. Quitting if you do smoke or use tobacco, will pay off in the long run.  Whether your motivation is the Great American Smokeout 2009, or just for yourself, quitting smoking is like a cash advance to your own health.

Get ready. From Wikimedia Commons.

The qualifying rounds are going on right now for the 2010 FIFA World Cup, which is being held this year in South Africa, 10 years after they held a World Cup (albeit in a different sport).  For the low and uninitiated, FIFA is soccer. Granted, pundits and hooligans are saying that “the only World Cup worth watching is in 2011 in New Zealand” but then again, no one wants to hear from that malicious cadre of malcontents.  No need to waste any payday loans on more TV channels just to get the latest scores, I’ll help you out on this one.  Today, November 18th, is the last day of qualification – so whoever wins today goes.

South Africa automatically qualifies

For the African nations, South Africa is automatically qualified as the host nation – which won’t exactly guarantee them much.  They’re currently ranked 84th in the world.  Association football is the most popular sport in the nation, though in international competition, the most dominant South African presence is in cricket, and most notably in rugby union.  The Springboks are perennially one of the world’s best sides, and won World Cups in 1995 and 2007, being the only nation besides Australia to have won it twice.  (Though they recently were beaten by two English club sides, so they aren’t doing themselves any favors.)

Egypt vs. Algeria

The last available spot for Africa was up for grabs, and it came down to Egypt and Algeria playing to break a tie, as they were even up.  On November 11th, the venue was chosen via draw, and the two faced off at Al Merreikh Stadium in Omdurman, Sudan in front of 50,000 fans.  Algeria’s Antar Yahia scored five minutes before half time, and neither side was able score again, leaving Algeria the victors, 1-0.

Republic of Ireland vs. France

Ireland vs. France shaped up to be a doozy, and seeing the Emerald Isle take on the frogs at Croke Park would be something else.  However, the Luck of the Irish ran out, and the French team ran away with the series, having aggregated 2 goals to the Irish 1, putting paid Irish hopes of World Cup glory.  On the same day, Portugal defeated Bosnia and Herzegovina, and Slovenia defeated Russia by virtue of the away goals rule.  (Meaning that the team that was away has goals count twice on aggregate if the match results in a shootout.) European teams usually get far more coverage in the news at times, but then again…they kind of came up with the sport there.  In other news, Bahrain, after defeating Saudi Arabia, had to face off against New Zealand in a play off, and were defeated by the Land of the Long White Cloud, and Costa Rica is currently battling Uruguay, for the 32nd spot on the roster.  (Here is a list of those qualified to go to the 2010 World Cup.)

This ought to be good

The wait is going to stink, but that being said, the 2010 FIFA World Cup is going to kick off in June of 2010.  It would be worth some payday loans to go there to watch.

An Aerial view of the Silverdome. From Wikimedia Commons.

The Pontiac Silverdome, located in Pontiac (duh) Michigan, just outside of Detroit, has sold for a cool $583,000.  An entire sports arena, for between the cost of two and three average homes in America – that’s getting some big-time real estate on the cheap.  One wonders if the new owners will ever need mortgage loan modification.  It was bid on at auction by a private Canadian Real Estate firm out of Toronto, whose name isn’t available presently. They delivered the winning bid, but the sale isn’t final yet.  According to an article from the Detroit Free Press, it was costing the city of Pontiac about three times that much just to maintain the place per year, and the Detroit area isn’t exactly the land of milk and honey lately.

The former loud and proud home of Detroit Sports

A local college professor and high school sports star, C. Don Davidson, was the lynch pin.  He had grown up in the Detroit area and returned to the Detroit area in 1965, surprised to see the Pontiac area having declined since his absence.  He thought it would be a dandy idea to build a stadium for the Lions.

In 1966, he was hired by the University of Detroit in the architectural department.  (He held a Masters in Urban Planning and Architecture, and previously had helped design Jacksonville International Airport.)  His big project was an urban renewal of Pontiac, including a sports stadium.  He began with talks with William Clay Ford, owner of the Lions for a move.  By 1970, Pontiac was approved as the site for a new stadium, and he was hired as chief project designer by O’Dell, Hewlett and Luckenbach, an architectural firm.  The stadium was completed in 1975 – at a cost of almost $56 million – as the new home of the Detroit Lions.  They had previously been sharing Tiger Stadium with the Detroit Tigers, as was common even back then for professional football teams, and by fall 1975, the Lions’ new home was open for business as Pontiac Metropolitan Stadium.

Why “Silverdome?”

The top of the stadium was made of fiberglass coated with Teflon, which is white to the naked eye, but silver with reflection from the sun.  The roof was entirely supported by air pressure within the stadium.

From the ’70s until recently

In 1978, the Detroit Pistons moved in, and shared the building with the Lions until 1988.  It was the largest (it seats over 93,000; 80,000 for football) and loudest stadium in the NFL until 1997, and it’s still the third-largest stadium in the U.S.  (FedEx Field and Cowboy Stadium are second and first, respectively.)  The Lions moved out in 2001 to Ford Field.  It was largely empty afterward, though the parking lot was used as a drive-in cinema from ‘03 to ‘06.

The Present

The Silverdome has been host to many events, including WrestleMania III, the sporting event with the largest attendance ever (the record still stands). It’s also been host to legions of concerts – you name the huge band, they’ve played there.   By October 2009, the city of Pontiac put it up for auction.  The new owners, who will have a very reasonable mortgage on a HUGE building, plan to use it to host Major League Soccer games.  Granted, they paid more than a few payday loans, but they got an incredible deal.

Tomatoes - a great source of niacin. From Wikimedia commons.

Niacin is one of the essential vitamins that a person has to consume, and recent studies have shown it to help decrease bad cholesterol, and boost the good kind.  That means people might go so far as to throw a few payday loans in beefing up their supply.   However, there is good news -  it turns out there’s a lot of foods that contain it.  You probably already get enough, and don’t even know it.

Also known as Vitamin B3 – Even if you only ate fast food, you’d still get some

Niacin is one of the vitamins that is present in so many foods that most people already eat, so unless you basically only eat McDonald’s Dollar Menu or Ramen noodles (look out college students) then you probably already receive close to if not more than your daily share, so don’t bother buying supplements.

Niacin is present in the following foods:

• Tomatoes (a lot of people already know this)
• Avocados
• Dates
• Broccoli
• Carrots
• Sweet potatoes (Thanksgiving is coming up!)
• Asparagus
• Leafy veggies
• Chicken
• Beef
• Eggs
• Milk
• Tuna and Salmon
• Beans/Legumes (the musical fruit!)
• Nuts
• Mushrooms
• Brewer’s Yeast

HOLD THE PHONE – Did you just say BREWER’S YEAST?

Yes, Virginia, I said it – Brewer’s yeast contains Niacin.  That means that you are getting vitamins and nutrients with  sweet, delicious, beer, but first, the following caveats: first, only in moderation (moderate drinkers outlive both heavy drinkers and teetotalers) and follow all laws to the letter regarding driving.  That said, if you want to have a brew or two (1 -2 glasses a day are  good for you) and get the benefits of the yeast, you are better off with a craft ale.  Not only will it taste far better than that pathetic yellow water with the ad campaigns, but craft ales have yeast in the bottle, as part of the conditioning process.  Deschutes Brewery and Sierra Nevada are excellent craft breweries, that make beer that will knock your socks off, and are available nationwide.  However, don’t rely on it as your only source – this is only meant as a side benefit – and only in responsible moderation.

Wait a minute – what about the good cholesterol?

Niacin boosts HDL (High Density Lipoprotein – the good kind!) and helps break down low density (lower density lipoprotein, or the bad kind).  Niacin is also one of the 5 vitamins that you should have daily in order to avoid disease.  Niacin deficiency is called Pellagra – and it’s nasty.  (The others are Vitamin C and scurvy, Vitamin D and rickets, Thiamin (Vitamin B1) and beriberi, and Vitamin A and the unimaginatively titled Vitamin A Deficiency Syndrome.)  The more you can do to reduce low density cholesterol (quit with the bacon burgers already) the better.

“Miracle” Vitamin Crazes are not that bright

There are plenty of foods that already contain your daily recommended amounts.  Don’t put any payday loans in niacin pills or other nutritional supplements.  Do a little bit of research, and you can learn how to get plenty of vitamins and minerals from better eating – you’ll eat better, feel better, and live better as a result.

Today is Friday the 13th, and two weeks from now it will be Black Friday -

Oh no! A black cat! From Wikimedia commons.

now for some of us Friday the 13th means zilch, besides a series of increasingly ridiculous slasher flicks.  Since it is Friday the 13th, I thought I’d bestow a little knowledge on everybody – and you can put away thoughts of fast cash loans for cloves of garlic, or dream catchers, or anything else to ward off evil spirits.

Friday

Friday is associated with bad luck.  Part of the “unlucky” Friday tradition is that Jesus was crucified on a Friday (Good Friday).  Also, in Medieval Folklore, witches gather on a Friday for…whatever they do.  (Wearing obscene amounts of patchouli, for instance.)  Why is that? The very name for the day comes to us from Pagan tradition – the etymology (the origin of words) of Friday is Germanic.  Freitag (Fry-tahg) is the day (tag) of Freya/Freyja, a Germanic/Norse goddess of love and fertility. (In the Romance languages, the corresponding name for the day derives from Venus.)  So do other days – Thor’s Day = Thursday, Woden/Odin’s Day = Wednesday, etc.  As a result of these superstitions across cultures, Friday is a day of bad luck for stock markets, and especially bad luck for a ship to sail on a Friday. However, it’s just a word, and a day – signifying nothing.

The Number 13

The number 13 kind of goes both ways -  lucky to some, unlucky to others. A lot of it is to do with 13 coming directly after 12, which is symbolically relevant in and of itself.  12, for instance, the number of Apostles (well…13 if you count St. Paul), the number of months in the Gregorian (solar) calendar, though there are 13 months in the lunar year.  12 is also the number of notes in the Western musical scale.  (The Indian scale has 37, the Chinese has 60.)  In Christian tradition, there were 13 people at the Last Supper, and the 13th to be seated was Judas, 13 is when a Jewish male has a bar mitzvah, etc.   However, what makes 13 an unlucky number has to do entirely with the fact that some cultures consider it unlucky – that cultural tradition spread around the world, and through that cultural tradition, and also the tradition concerning Friday, the superstitions combined over time, most notably in the 19th century, where it starts to get mentioned at all.

Well I ain’t superstitious

If you think Fridays are “evil,” then you’ll see every bad event on a Friday as being caused by it being Friday.  If you think the number 13 is evil, you’ll find the number 13 as a cause.  Fear of the number 13, and of Friday the 13th are phobias, or triskaidekaphobia and paraskevidekatriaphobia, respectively.  (Try saying those 5 times fast.)  If you think Friday the 13th is unlucky, you’ll see bad events as being caused by it being Friday the 13th if they occur.  It’s called Cum hoc ergo propter hoc (”with this therefore because of this”), a logical fallacy, or Correlation Does Not Imply Causality.  Friday the 13th superstitions – though anything that happens on the 13th is purely coincidence – aren’t likely to go away – it’s ingrained in our culture, so it probably isn’t going anywhere.

Charla Nash appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show on November 11th, to

From Wikimedia Commons

update the world on her status almost 9 months after being the victim of a horrific mauling by a chimpanzee.  She is blind, cannot eat solid food, and lives at the Cleveland Clinic, the esteemed hospital where the first face transplant was carried out on American soil.  It takes a very brave person to want to appear on TV in that state.  In the wake of the attack, her family has set up a trust fund, where people may donate quick cash to help pay her medical expenses and support her in general.

A real “animal lover” desires preservation of habitats, not a pet

There seems to be a real sick fascination with having certain animals as “pets.” For instance, lions, tigers, bears (oh my! – how am I not supposed to make that joke?) and chimpanzees.  Elvis had a pet chimp, so did Michael Jackson.  (Both animals, Scatter and Bubbles, respectively, had to be gotten rid of after they grew violent, by the way.)  They are a popular fixture on television, and some people will event rent a chimpanzee for parties.  Let me assure you, they are not an animal you want around either you or your children, at all.  Perhaps the foremost expert on chimpanzee behavior, Jane Goodall, posted this opinion piece in the wake of the incident.

Here comes some learning

Despite what you see on TV, in magazines, or movies starring a former President they aren’t cute, cuddly, and safe.  (Well, they can be in infancy.  Once they get a bit older – not so much.)  An adult chimp can stand over 5 feet tall, and weigh up to 150 pounds.  They are 5 times stronger than the average human.   Furthermore, chimpanzees are territorial and can be very aggressive in the wild.  They have, and this is documented, killed human infants.  (One of Jane Goodall’s subjects did just that in Africa – a 14 month old baby.)  They carry out what amounts to tribal warfare, and males will kill infants in order to mate with the mother.  Goodall herself was almost beaten to death, and Far Side cartoonist Gary Larson, visiting the preserve where Goodall did her field studies, was also attacked and injured. They do live in troops, so the life of a chimpanzee isn’t necessarily solitary, but is nasty, cruel, brutish, and short.  Oh, and might we also mention AIDS and the Ebola virus?

At what point should it stop?

People and wild animals don’t mix very well, period.  Stick to a normal pet, like dogs, cats, the smaller and more manageable (and non-venomous) reptiles, birds, and fish, people.  Charla Nash will never see again, as her eyes had to be removed due to infection, and she wears a veil around the hospital she lives in.  She’s a brave and strong woman.  People are inclined to ask why it happened – was Travis infected with rabies?  He was negative for rabies – he just did what was in his nature, as a chimpanzee.  They aren’t pets.  They are wild animals, capable of killing a full grown person with ease.  Get some quick cash for a rabbit instead.

from http://www.flickr.com/photos/minnesotahistoricalsociety/

In the evening of November 10th, 1975, the S.S. Edmund Fitzgerald, a large tanker/freighter on Lake Superior sank, sometime after 7 p.m.  All hands were lost, 29 in total, and the ship came to rest on the bottom of Lake Superior in 530 feet of water.  It is one of the best known maritime disasters on the Great Lakes, though that might be thanks in some part to Gordon Lightfoot and his song about the incident that’s so catchy that most people would give a cash advance to get it out of their heads once stuck there.

The pride of the American Side

The ship was commissioned by the Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Company of Milwaukee in February 1957, who contracted Great Lakes Engineering Works, or River Rouge, Michigan, to build a freighter, and the contract stipulated she had to be the largest ship on the Great Lakes.  In August of that year, her keel was laid, and the following June, she was christened the Edmund Fitzgerald, after the President and Chairman of Northwestern, Edmund Fitzgerald.  (Partly for brownie points and partly because Fitzgerald’s father had been a lake freight captain.)  She was 729 feet long, 75 feet wide, and almost 40 feet tall, and was the largest ship on the lake for over a decade.

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

On November 10th, the Edmund Fitzgerald left Superior Wisconsin, with a full load (her capacity was just under 27 tons) of taconite (a rock which contains high amounts of iron) destined for Zug Island (near Detroit), when she and a ship that was following her, the Arthur M. Anderson, encountered a heavy storm with extremely rough waters, including waves up to 35 feet in height and near zero visibility due to heavy snow.  Both ships were advised by the Coast Guard to find safe harbor, and on the way to Whitefish Bay, she began to take on water.  Just before 6 p.m., her captain, Ernest McSorely, reported waves washing over the deck.  Just after 7 p.m., he reported the ship and crew were “holding our own.” Minutes later, all contact was lost.  A search for the survivors found nothing aside from lifeboats and debris.  All 29 hands were reported as lost, and the bell at the Mariner’s Church in Detroit was rung 29 times, once for each lost.

What was the cause?

Since she broke apart, it was thought she was torn up on the surface, though the two pieces lie too close together for that to have been the cause.  The hypothesis that fits best (as per that ubiquitous and infernally addictive website, Wikipedia) is that the Fitzgerald was hit by a series of rogue waves, a documented but little understood phenomenon, and in a series is called “3 sisters.” The first and second battered the ship and importantly the hatches, which led to the third sinking her.  The Arthur M. Anderson reported at least 2 abnormally large waves hitting her.  Rogue waves are known to exist, and to happen, yet their cause isn’t universally understood as yet.  It might give one pause to commemorate both the Veterans this week, and also those sailors who lost their lives on the Edmund Fitzgerald, and maybe a few installment loans for research into how to survive a rogue wave could go to good use.

From Wikimedia Commons

In case you missed the last article written on this site on this subject, there was a Larry Johnson petition being circulated by fans to get him dismissed from the team, because they didn’t want him occupying Kansas City Chiefs record books or mentioned in the same sentence with Priest Holmes, and didn’t want any more quick cash spent on him.  They got their wish.  The running back (2.7 yards per carry this season – the second worst in the league) constantly feuded with management, hit women, etc., has been declared the weakest link, and summarily given the boot.

Larry Johnson won’t pass go, and won’t collect $200

Well, check that – he still is guaranteed wages by contract.  He is expected to clear waivers, and might be picked up by another team.  However, he has probably seen his last pay day with the Chiefs.  To be fair, he was a two time Pro Bowler and a first round pick out of Penn State.  From 2004 to 2007, he was one of the best running backs in the NFL for 3 seasons, appearing in 2 Pro Bowls.  It turns out he is actually a very talented player, but perhaps star power went to his head.

Suspension due to making bigoted remarks

Johnson used homophobic slurs on his Twitter account and also to reporters, and had reportedly had a negative impact in the locker room, along with a Twitter fueled feud with the head coach.  (Granted, the 1-7 record of the Chiefs this year might have something to do with that.)  During his two week suspension for conduct unbecoming, the Chiefs decided to give him his walking papers.  He will collect over $4 million, as part of his contract guarantees it in the event of a release.

But wherever shall he go?

There’s already a rumored destination for him – Washington D.C.  Not as a member of Congress (although he’d probably fit right in with that nefarious cabal of miscreants), but instead to the Redskins.  The Washington Redskins are currently in need of a running back.  (They also need to win a game.)  Clinton Portis is currently sidelined with a concussion.  Jim Zorn hasn’t commented except to say that he’s going to have to think about it.  (Read more about the possible move to the Redskins here.)

What happens now?

Well, the season is just about half over.  The Kansas City Chiefs are in a rebuilding period, as are the Redskins (if that’s where he goes), but he might return to winning ways if paired with the right team.  That said, players that feud with management constantly tend to not last long, wherever they go.  (To be fair, that goes both ways – some management is awful to players.  The following names might be mentioned: Ken Stabler, Marcus Allen, and Joe Montana.)  The news that the Chiefs had Larry Johnson released might shock a few people that a good RB might be let go of by a losing team, but perhaps a cash advance might be better spent building a new team from the ashes.

Two horrific shootings have occurred within 24 hours of each other, a Ft. Hood shooting and an Orlando shooting, both involving disgruntled workers.  In both cases, the suspects were apprehended by authorities.  It’s hard to tell whether horrible acts of violence are a product of an environment, or if they are just something that is part of the human animal.  In any case, it would be worth some money now to figure out how to prevent incidents like these from occurring.

The Fort Hood Massacre

Major Nidal Malik Hasan received orders to deploy to Afghanistan.  The career Army psychiatrist was a Muslim, and felt that because of his faith he was a target in the Army and in everyday life because of his religious beliefs.  He also had a severe moral conflict with the U.S. waging war in Muslim countries, and voiced his concerns only to be derided and maltreated for it.  On November 5th, he entered Fort Hood, one of the largest military bases in the United States, and opened fire on fellow servicemen and women in the early afternoon.  By the time the shooting was stopped, thanks to the absolute heroism of a local police officer, 13 were dead, and 30 were wounded.  One of the fatalities of his horrific spree was six weeks pregnant.

Authorities hail the bravery of Officer Kimberly Munley

Within 3 minutes of reports of shots fired, Officer Kimberly Munley entered the area of the shootings, and exchanged fire with Hasan.  She was wounded in the exchange, but continued to fire, hitting him four times and stopping the rampage.  As of today, according to USA Today, he is in a coma and on a ventilator.  All but two of his victims are hospitalized.

Followed by Orlando Shooting less than 24 hours later

Earlier today, Friday the 6th of November, Jason Rodriguez was suspected of entering the offices of Reynolds Smith & Hills, on the 8th floor at the Gateway Center in Orlando, Florida, and opening fire.  One person was killed, and 5 were wounded. A 911 call was made around 11 a.m., and officers responded.  He was taken into custody without incident, when police went to his mother’s house where he was hiding.  He was a former employee of the firm, though he was fired 2 years ago.  Since then, he’d taken to working at Subway and had filed for bankruptcy.  When asked by reporters why he committed the terrible act, according to CNN, he said they “left him to rot.”

Is this human nature? Or is this something cultures produce?

The social scientist Emile Durkheim, considered one of the fathers of sociology, postulated that the relative amount of disconnection that people feel, termed anomie, led to acts of crime, violence, or suicide, as a lashing out at the disconnection.  Granted, Karl Marx was saying almost the same thing a decade or two prior, but that aside – desperation leads to desperate acts.  One man seemed to resent the treatment by his peers and fellow soldiers, another was driven by the  shame of the loss of a job and economic despair and bankruptcy.   Obviously, there is never any excuse for violence, fatal or otherwise, unless in self defense – EVER.  Let us hope that any money now going to investigations can shine some light on the causes, and hopefully the families of the victims can find some measure of peace.

Image from Wikimedia Commons.

Remember, remember the 5th of November

OK, a lot of us saw V for Vendetta, but people were commemorating Guy Fawkes’ Night  (November 5th) a long time before the movie came out, and certainly before the graphic novel (that the more sophisticated and discerning among us have read) that the movie was based on came out.  On a side tangent, if you haven’t read the book, just go out and spend some instant cash on it.  (It’s better than the film, and it makes it clear why Alan Moore HATES Hollywood.)

Time for a History Lesson.

“Remember, remember the 5th of November,

The Gunpowder Treason and Plot.

I know of no reason why the Gunpowder Treason should ever be forgot.”

The Gunpowder Treason and Plot was a (nearly successful) plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament in London, England, and thereby killing King James I.  (The Houses of Parliament thing is a dead giveaway, isn’t it?)  The next phase was to kidnap the king’s children, hold them for ransom, and start a rebellion.  Why were they so agitated? Well, the Gunpowder Plotters were all Catholics.

Incidents like these are why the Constitution has that Establishment Clause and why the Separation is necessary, BTW.

The Reader’s Digest version:  Henry the 8th (I am, I am) separated the English Crown from the Catholic Church, because the Pope was tired of his marital shenanigans.  (Beheading your ex-wife is wrong, though understandable!)  He created the Church of England, with the Monarch as the Head of the Church.  Afterward, Catholics were discriminated against (putting it mildly), until a group of wealthy Catholics decided they’d had enough, and if the King wasn’t going to listen to reason and be fair about things, they were going to do something about it, and get someone on the throne more friendly to their plight.  (This was also one more excuse for the British to abuse the Irish, although English Catholics didn’t have a problem with that.)

In 1604, a group of conspirators got together (I’m leaving the names out – this is the quick version) to come up with a plan to remove the government, and then to execute it.  They decided to burrow under Parliament, plant explosives over a long period of time (the gunpowder barrels were planted over more than 6 months) and get alibis together.  The person in charge of executing the plot was Guy Fawkes, aka Guido Fawkes, a veteran soldier.  He was about to set the whole thing off on November the 5th, 1605, when an anonymous letter tipped off the guards.  He was caught, tortured, and as they were beginning to hang, draw and quarter him, he jumped off the gallows and committed suicide.

The Aftermath

Afterward, English Catholics faced even further discrimination.  (Irish Catholics got it worse, and then came lord Cromwell. He’s getting a small “l” for a reason.) Guy Fawkes Night is celebrated in England and other territories, by lighting fireworks and/or bonfires, and burning effigies of Guy Fawkes to commemorate the Deliverance of the English King. It took 2 centuries after the events for the crown to repair credit with British and Irish Catholics, and end discrimination.  (3 more centuries to free Ireland.)  Now, don’t go setting off fireworks if it’s illegal – but take pause to remember, remember the 5th of November.

Fans of the Kansas City Chiefs who resent the continued presence of infamous running back Larry Johnson have created a petition to team owners and management to keep him from playing, so he won’t break the record currently held by Priest Holmes for rushing yards and occupy a place in team history.

Larry Johnson has created a firestorm of negative publicity, not only for bashing head coach Todd Haley, but for using, on more than one occasion, derogatory terms for homosexuals.  This isn’t the first time he’s been in trouble with the team, including a training camp sit out because he wasn’t getting enough instant cash.

75 yards to go

Priest Holmes, who was on the Chiefs’ roster from 2001 to 2007, holds the current record for rushing yards on the team, with 6,070 yards.  Johnson is right behind him, with 5,994 yards.  That could be achieved in one game.  However, Johnson is quickly losing ground with fans who have tired of his antics and certainly with his behavior.

Currently on suspension

Johnson is currently on suspension due to “conduct unbecoming” following Twitter posts (we must learn to lay off the Twitter, people – and keep negative thoughts to ourselves) detrimental to the head coach, in which he addressed what he believed to be a lack of qualifications to coach an NFL team.  He will be eligible to play again on Nov. 9.

Oh, and he likes to hit the ladies, too!

Among the latest incidents, Johnson has been arrested three (3) times for assault, all assaults on women.  The latest incident involved him repeatedly using the word “fag” in responses to the press and on his (you’ll never guess it) Twitter account.  It used to be that a players’ off-field antics that got him in trouble with the team were usually for having a few too many the night before a game, and that was what got them in hot water – for instance, you have Joe Namath and Ken “Snake” Stabler, both of whom were known for enjoying libations, perhaps to excess, but winning a lot of games.   Johnson, on the other hand, sat out for almost half of 2007, and in 2008, didn’t exactly have a banner year – and this guy got the largest contract ever offered or signed in Chief’s history.  A perpetual embarrassment on and off the field.

It might be time to cancel his Twitter account and cut this clown

A Larry Johnson petition at this point should surprise no one.  From the very start, he’s fought with management, and over the last 3 seasons has been underproducing, when he wasn’t in jail or on suspension.  So far this season, according to ESPN, he has only netted 2.7 yards per carry, the second worst running back in the league.  By contrast,  Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers has an average of 6.5 yards per carry.  (Yes, I mean the quarterback.  Granted, he has the highest QB rating in the league right now, but if a quarterback is out-rushing a star RB, it’s time for that guy to go!) The fans are right – it may be time to cancel the cash advance to Johnson and send him packing.

Image via http://www.flickr.com/photos/markusram/

People who watched the original TV series from the 80s, V, will be A) Noticing the two horrible puns I just made and B) awaiting the premiere of the V Series 2009 update to see if TV networks are just as out of ideas as Hollywood and are about to ruin yet another classic because they can’t come up with anything original.  (It’s starting to get old.  Another remake that insults the source…and people might start watching. Well, that probably won’t happen.) All that said, if the V TV Series 2009 is as good as, well, MOST of the original, the DVD set might be worth some instant cash to pick up.

A new visit – from New Visitors!

In case you missed the original, here’s a quick recap: An alien race comes to earth, with a seemingly benevolent message.  They look like us, speak our language, and are just fine in our atmosphere, though they are a vicious reptilian race in disguise.  (In case some people are wondering, yes, David Icke thinks this was a documentary, and people actually give him money.)  They come from Sirius, almost 9 light years away.  However, some time after they land, it’s obvious that they’re up to no good.  Violence ensues, and bad times are had by all.  The Visitors plot to use all of the Earth’s resources, and devour humanity by using them as food, slaves, and as more or less suicide soldiers in their galactic wars, where they are presumably the bad guys – wait a minute, The Visitors are Congress!  (Oh, come on – how am I NOT supposed to make that joke?)  The old series was a cross between Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Childhood’s End by Arthur C. Clarke, in essence, but it was very entertaining and incredibly popular.

What the V means

The name and symbol of the series is a red, spray painted “V.”  In this case, it has nothing to do with a legendary (and amazing) graphic novel involving brilliant critique of the Reagan and Thatcher governments by way of a wisecracking anarchist in a Guy Fawkes Mask. (The movie adaptation of which hardly did it justice.)  It’s the old V for Victory sign, and it’s drawn by a character in the original series who was a Holocaust survivor.

So what about the new hotness?

The new series premieres tonight – November 3rd on ABC; 4 episodes will run in November.  The rest will air in March 2010. They are splitting it into two parts with the 2010 Winter Olympics between.  It stars Elizabeth Mitchell, from Lost, Morris Chestnut, Scott Wolf, and a host of other people.  No word yet if original cast members Marc Singer or Robert Englund or others (yes, that’s right – Freddie Kruger, himself!) have roles or cameos slated.  So far the reviews for the updated series have been overwhelmingly positive.  Although it’s notable that little original science fiction has come out in some time.  (Transformers, V, The Terminator, just about everything is a remake or sequel – although Avatar looks kind of cool.)  Still, if the V TV Series 2009 is as good as the original, and at this point it almost looks better, the DVD’s might be worth a cash advance to get when released.

Image by flickr

The Center for Disease Control has issued warnings for people on the Eastern seaboard to watch out for a large shipment of recalled beef, as up to over a half a million pounds of ground beef have been found to be contaminated with E. coli.  The infected beef was produced and shipped by Fairbanks Farms, of Ashville, New York.  The company has issued a recall of almost 546,000 pounds of fresh ground beef; a recall this large costs more than a personal loan or two.

Up to 28 people may have been made ill

As of today, up to 28 people may have been sickened from eating said contaminated beef.  16 have been hospitalized and so far, 2 have died.  Both fatalities had underlying conditions and complications which were instrumental in their passing.  18 of the suspected infections are in New England, and all but 3 are in the Northeast.  The beef was distributed in Maryland, Massachusetts, North Carolina, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, and Virginia.  It was sold in Trader Joe’s, Lancaster, Wild Harvest, Shaw’s, BJ’s, Ford Brothers and Giant stores.  Consumers living in the Northeast are cautioned to find any packages bearing the label “EST. 492.” It won’t be sold as fresh any more, as the expiration dates were listed as at the end of September.  Here is a link to a  full list of products that contained the contaminated product.

E. Coli is a nasty bug – a paradoxical bacteria

E. Coli, or under the full title, Escherichia coli, is a common bacteria, and it’s one you already have – it’s kind of necessary.  It’s one of the bacteria that lives in the human digestive tract, and you probably wouldn’t survive long without it.  However, the strain that is endemic to humans isn’t the one endemic to cows.  The bovine strain is toxic to humans, and uncooked or contaminated beef can cause havoc.  The most common form that people get sick from is O157:H7 E. Coli (from Wikipedia) called the “hamburger” bacteria, as that’s the common source of infection.  It can cause anything from gastroenteritis (the “stomach flu”) to bloody diarrhea, in severe cases, kidney failure and in 2 to 7% of cases, haemolytic uremic syndrome, which can lead to kidney failure.  The very young, very old, and the immune-compromised are more susceptible to this complication – as they are more susceptible to other diseases like influenza. E.coli can be acquired from meat, unpasteurized milk, swimming in contaminated water, or eating contaminated uncooked vegetables  (it gets into the environment from the business end of a cow).

Typically, it resolves itself within a few days for most people.  However, there are about 2,000 people hospitalized with it annually, and HUS complications from E.coli infections are responsible for about 60 deaths per year.

Those living in NE might want to check their freezer

People living in New England might be susceptible, so it’s suggested you check your freezer if you think you’re at risk.  A hospital stay will cost you more than a cash advance worth, that’s for sure.

From Flickr. com. And No, gouging isn't cool.

Brandon Spikes, a middle linebacker for the University of Florida Gators football squad, has been suspended for a whole half a game after gouging the eyes of a downed opponent in the Gator’s recent game against the University of Georgia Bulldogs.

Since then, searches for and views of the Brandon Spikes eye gouging video have been popular, and some people would give short term loans for bad credit to see him not take the field again for at least a game or two.  Some will doubtless take the minimal sentence as evidence of the ridiculous favoritism showed college athletes, as a half game for an eye gouge is a light sentence.

Well…maybe those critics have something there.

A half game off is a light sentence for such a dangerous action.  There is currently no sport in which eye gouging is close to being allowed.  Not to mention that the Brandon Spikes eye gouging video shows he gouged the eye of a down player.  Not to knock the Gator’s football program, but that is cowardly.

In American Football, people wear helmets, and as a result, there can be no such thing as an accidental eye gouge or fish hook.  Even some past infamous enforcers never tried to commit such egregious offenses – people like Jack Lambert, Lawrence Taylor, Jack Tatum, Dick Butkus, or Ray Nitschke never had to resort to gouging – they let the hits do the talking.

If we are going to have some sort of pretense that athletes aren’t given rampant favoritism at the university level, he should get far more than a half game off.  If someone were to stand up and chin the nearest student in Anthro 101, they would be expelled, and probably prosecuted.

What? Did he think it was a rugby match?

The glorious sport that gave birth to gridiron football is played without padding, and the occasional eye gouge does happen as well, but since there aren’t any helmets used in the Game Played in Heaven, it’s harder to prevent, but it can be accidental.  That said, it isn’t tolerated, at all – two recent instances of eye gouging resulted in long bans.  For instance, a test match in July between South Africa and the British and Irish Lions in which South Africa’s Schalk Burger accidentally gouged the eye of an opposition player got him 8 weeks out.  For an ACCIDENT – Spikes’ infraction was intentional, and even though it’s claimed he was only retaliating, this is unacceptable.

If we’re going to justify the ridiculous nature of college sports, let’s have some higher standards.

Though many people enjoy college sports, and there isn’t intrinsically wrong with it.  That said, a lot of people get to go to college for free because of sports.  I’m sorry, but if a potential genius engineer or physicist doesn’t get to go to university because they can’t come up with the requisite cash advance loans for tuition, but someone else DOES because whatever pitiful thing they can do on a field – something is wrong.  The Brandon Spikes eye gouging video makes it obvious that this was no accident – and if I were a Gator student, I would be spitting mad because the athletics program had cheapened the integrity of the academic establishment for the sake of some silly GAME.

Related Video:

From Wikimedia Commons

A few days ago, a Washington DC television station, WJLA, aired a series about women’s health, particularly calling into question and to the audience’s attention the need for more women to be aware of how to properly conduct a breast examination on their own.  The WJLA breast exam video has been causing a lot of  controversy, and of course the usual goofballs are looking for the video for, shall we say, ulterior motives.  (In other words, not for educational purposes.)  The portion dealing with a self exam, aired without obscuring anything.  It was part of a four part series.  And no, we won’t be posting it here, no matter if you offer instant cash or not.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month.  Granted, disease awareness causes can make it seem like there’s a foundation for any and every affliction and therefore can start to seem a little maudlin, but breast cancer isn’t trite.  It isn’t funny.  People are dying, and of BOTH genders as a minority of males get the disease too.  (2000 U.S. men per year.)

Prevention is vital

Over 40,000 a year die.  That number of people is almost the population of my hometown.  That’s a football stadium full of fans.  In America, 1 in 35 women will die from it, 1 in 8 will get it, and some people deign to think educating the public on how to self screen is obscene?  Why, because someone might have seen a nipple?  The stupidity it takes to believe that idea is obscene.  According to physicians, the best chance a woman has of beating it is early detection.  For women in the United States, it is the most common cause of cancer and second leading cause of death from cancer.  (Lung cancer is first, though more men smoke than women.)

From the National Breast Cancer Awareness Month website

The National Breast Cancer Awareness Month website recommends the following:

• Yearly mammograms and screening by a physician starting at age 40
• Yearly clinical exams
• Monthly self examination
• Consulting with a physician about your risk

It’s one of the most survivable forms of cancer for men or women, as the 10 year survival rate, according to an article on breast cancer on Wikipedia, is between 98% to 10%, depending on the exact type.  According to the Center for Disease Control, it’s the 7th leading cause of death in women, and the best method of prevention is to catch it early, by annual screenings.

So there – I’ve done my part

In the end, a small handful of people might get upset about a breast being shown on TV. Oh, they got mighty mad when Janet Jackson had a wardrobe accident, I know, but this was intentional and for a purpose that is in no way unjustifiable – how could anyone get mad? Seriously, folks – do yourself and your health a favor.  Get regular screenings.  Learn the correct way to self examine.  It can save your life.  Just anyone who counts themselves among the working poor has joked that we can’t afford to throw money away on a doctor, but it is worth even a short term loan for bad credit to get an annual screening.

Image from Wikipedia commons. Sorry, but no game shots.

Alright there, sports fans.  I bet a lot of you are wondering what the World Series Schedule for 2009 is, and we’re going to give it to you.  This year’s Series is poised to be a contest of epic proportions.  We have last year’s winners, the reigning World Series champion Philadelphia Phillies, facing off against the Yankees, who are looking for a return to the Fall Classic for the first time since the year 2000.

Here it is

Game 1 – Wednesday, October 28th – @New York

Game 2 – Thursday, October 29th – @ NY

Game 3 – Saturday, October 31st – @ Philadelphia

Game 4 – Sunday, November 1st – @ PHI

Game 5, if necessary, will be played on Monday, November 2nd in Philadelphia.  Games 6 and 7, if necessary, will be in New York.  The World Series this year is being broadcast by FOX, and games 2 and 3 will start at 7:57 pm, Eastern Standard Time, game 4 (this upcoming Sunday) will start at 8:20 pm, EST.  Games 5-7, if necessary, will also begin at 7:57 EST. Check your local listing for the channel.

Game 1 is already over – and guess who lost in their fancy new digs?

That’s right, for those of you who missed it.  The New York Yankees LOST in the first World Series game they played in their big fancy new stadium, that reportedly cost over a billion dollars.  That was a pretty big cash advance for a team that started seeing home runs fly over the walls (that they didn’t hit – including a 22-4 slaughtering by the Cleveland Indians) and Wednesday night was no exception.

Utley and Lee combine to Burn the Bronx Again

Two Philadelphia Phillies had outstanding nights.  Second basemen Chase Utley and pitcher Cliff Lee both produced outstanding performances, with Utley hitting a home run in the 3rd and 6th innings, followed by two runs in the 8th and 9th innings by Raul Ibanez (two RBI in the 8th) and two RBI hits from Shane Victorino and Ryan Howard.

Cliff Lee pitched a complete game – which is amazing for a World Series game. Not only that, he pitched the first complete Game 1 defeat of the Yanks since the Los Angeles Dodgers’ Sandy Koufax.  In the first five, there were only 3 hits and 7 strikeouts.  By the 9th, it was shutout, but a little luck went the way of the Yankees.  The Bronx Bombers managed an unearned run off a throwing error during an attempted double play.  In the end, it hardly mattered – as soon as that happened, Lee struck out Alex Rodriguez (who has had a BA of over .400 this postseason) and Posada with impunity, as if these legit threats at the backstop were a couple of impudent Little Leaguers that he was giving a lesson in humiliation.  I bet the Indians regret that trade now!

Cue Gloating

This will be brief – but I’d like to take this moment to gloat over the Yankees loss, and remind everyone of the spanking the Evil Empire received last night.  That will be all.

Gloating Over

The Yankees are not about to take this lying down.  C.C. Sabathia is going to be looking for revenge, and so will everyone else.  A-Rod was struck out three times, and he isn’t likely to be happy about it.  They just lost the first World Series game on home turf – they will be out for blood tonight.  Luckily, on TV it’s free – but attending in person would be well worth some instant cash loans.

There aren’t any known H1N1 vaccine deaths from this current outbreak yet, but they may occur.  It isn’t likely to be many.  Flu vaccines, especially H1N1 vaccines (this isn’t the first time anybody’s caught H1N1 – it’s broken out before) carry a risk of afflicting the vaccinated with Guillain Barre Syndrome.  What’s weird is that the government is using the cash advances they got from we, the people (our taxes) and were supposed to deliver 120 million vaccines.  We got 10 million.  (I don’t know about anyone else, but I feel short changed.  Spiteful aside, it appears that yet again, No We Can’t due to incompetence!)  However, don’t panic.

Guillain Barre Syndrome is an ascending paralysis that can be fatal

Guillain Barre syndrome is a breakdown of the fatty lining (this is fat that you don’t want to waste instant cash on losing – without it, you die) of the nerves, typically beginning in the legs.  The nerves lose control of, well, everything, and it creeps it’s way upward.  It’s the leading cause of non-trauma paralysis. It is a risk of modern flu vaccines, and if a lot of people get swine flu vaccines, people will get it, and people will die.  However, put this into perspective – the seasonal flu, i.e. the flu that EVERYBODY gets, kills over 30,000 people in the U.S. alone, up to 500,000 worldwide, and the actual risk of the side effects are low, and risk of death from it- even lower.

Last Swine Flu Panic – 1976, and it was EMBARRASSING

For those that aren’t “in the know” (which is a kind way of saying that if people would learn a little history, do a little research, they might learn about what panics occur over) there was a swine flu outbreak in 1976.  Congress decided to mobilize mass immunizations, wasting millions of dollars in the process, after ONE PERSON DIED.  (That’s IT. Hardly an epidemic.)  Less than 33% of the U.S. actually got the immunization.  Of those, 500 were afflicted with GBS, of which 25 people died.  If you’re thinking in terms of global disease…you might get where I’m going, but that said, the last swine flu (this one isn’t actually a swine flu, but it is H1N1) or the 1976 Swine Flu Outbreak was a panic over nothing, with vaccinations that didn’t do anyone any good, but did cost a lot.

Immunizations carry risks

Immunizations always carry a risk. The very act itself is risky – how immunizations work is that a very small sample of a virus or bacteria is injected, alerting the immune system to its presence so the body can build anti-bodies, which carries a risk of infection.  The H1N1 Vaccine, as well as flu vaccines in general, carry risks of infection and of GBS, but it’s a small risk.  The risk of death from the H1N1 is about 1 in 1000, and the risk of getting Guillain Barre from it (culled from an article on CBS News) is between 1 in 100,000 to 1 in 1,000,000.  (That’s literally one in a million.)  80% of GBS patients completely recover, and less than 4 in 100 afflicted with it die.   Health professionals advise weighing the pros and cons of vaccinating,  and getting yourself, your spouse, and your children vaccinated will cost a cash advance loans worth. Take care of yourselves; be safe; get vaccinated if you’re at risk – but above all, DON’T PANIC.

Mathew Hoh, a 36 year old in the employ of the State Department in the Foreign Service, has resigned his from his position, working as a diplomat in Afghanistan, resigned earlier this month citing a complete loss of justification of the continuing war in Afghanistan.  He is the first person that is known to have resigned out of protest of continuing the war, as, according to sources, he felt that the continued occupation was only fueling the insurgency.  (Articles on it here from MSNBC and here from the Huffington Post.)  He may need a cash advance to get home and a new job, but it’s still a very brave thing for him to have done.

Reconciling costs and benefits of war are very hard, if not impossible

On September 10th, he posted a 4 page letter to his superiors and stated “I have lost understanding of and confidence in the strategic purpose of United States’ presence in Afghanistan” and that “my resignation is based not upon how we are pursuing this war, but why and to what end.”  He felt that Afghans weren’t resisting the US presence because of the removal of the Taliban, or of Al Qaeda, but because the US military was simply there.  It is not the first time that someone has stated this position, and it will not be the last, not even close.

Adamantly not some “pot smoking hippie”

Matthew Hoh has a long and distinguished career of service.  Before his employment with the State Department, Hoh was in the United States Marine Corps, and served on the front lines with Iraq.  He’s made it very clear, if you read statements, that he emphatically believes the Taliban and Al Qaeda to be evil (which they are), but that the presence of Al Qaeda is virtually exclusive to Pakistan and that the Afghan conflict with the Taliban is a civil war in which it isn’t necessary we be engaged in, and his resignation letter (which can be viewed at the Huffington Post article) cites the Vietnamese War as precedent – an internal conflict which we shouldn’t interfere with.  The Afghan conflict has gone on for 8 years, 2 years less than the Vietnam War.  (10 years, from 1965 to 75, accounting for major troop presence in 1965, but the first advisers were there in 1950.)

Perhaps this is justification for pause

This is an odd tangent, but it’s not without precedent – in the infamous but nontheless influential treatise The Prince, Niccolo Machiavelli posited that military occupations must either swiftly crush everything in sight and then cease, or make conquered territory the new capital.  No one can totally justify no action having taken, or taking action to combat terrorist organizations like Al Qaeda, or the Taliban, or any facistic or totalitarian group of any kind.  That would be ludicrous.  However, as Matthew Hoh points out, the conflict there is internal, which very well may be true.  He also states that the billions of extra cash going into our continued conflicts our mortgaging our future.  Perhaps there’s something to that.

Occasionally, if you watch Google Trends, people search for things that are sort of interesting, like zoology – which is a form of knowledge.  (You don’t see it often – most of the time Trends searches are about some less than intelligent event concerning so called “celebrities.”)   The earth is full of interesting creatures, and one that I personally don’t want to see unless on a plate is the coconut crab.  Not that I have anything against them, or want them exterminated, but a lot of people would like to keep them at arms length or further away.  The body length is up to 16 in, and a leg span of almost 3 feet.  Oh, and these boys live only on land.  Oh, did we mention they like to come inside?

Why are they called coconut crabs?

They are called coconut crabs because they are known to pick a coconut from a tree, and crack it open with their claws.  (Imagine what that will do to a person – and the fact that the average human bone will break with 16 psi of pressure.)  They are  one of the few animals that eat coconuts by tearing holes in a coconut and removing the flesh within.  They are also called robber crabs, palm thieves, and terrestrial hermit crabs, and are the largest of the land dwelling crabs, as they cannot swim.  They are members of the hermit crab family.

What’s really interesting about them

Perhaps one of the most interesting things about them, at least to us who waste enough time finding about these sort of things when maybe we should be looking up credit repair, is that they have what’s known as a branchiostegal lung. (More on it at Wikipedia.)  A branchiostegal lung is a type of lung which is halfway between a gill and the lungs that we and other animals breathe with, though the coconut crab can’t live in water.  (They’ll drown.)   As water is passed through gills, it goes over tissues which extract oxygen.  Lungs, by contrast, inflate with air, and the oxygen is extracted from it by lung tissues.  Branchiostegal lungs are essentially gills that only work out of the water – kind of cool, isn’t it?

I don’t know if they make good pets…I would doubt it

You might be tempted to think of getting one as a pet, but in most places the coconut crab makes it’s home – which ranges all over the South Pacific into the Indian Ocean – it’s considered a delicacy.  It’s a large arthropod, that weighs up to 10 pounds – that’s a lot of meat!  A veritable chicken of the beach.  They aren’t considered mortally dangerous, but you probably don’t want your kids playing around them.  If this thing can pry off the top of a coconut, a kid’s pusillanimous little arm would be no problem.  However, the only time you’d be likely to see one in the states is either in an exhibit, or handing over a cash advance for a dinner of one.