Tiger Woods had an affair according to…nothing
This kind of non news is boring...get a hobby people. From Wikimedia Commons.
Tiger Woods has been fingered in the tabloids for having an affair on his wife with some lady named Rachel Uchitel, and that leads to a lot of searches for Tiger Woods Mistress Pictures. This is undeniable proof that a lot of people need a hobby and really are just that bored, probably from actually watching golf. (I don’t mean to disparage the game, but that’s such a good joke that I’m going to keep it.) Then, to top it all off, he also had a car accident in his Escalade near his Florida home, and rumors abound of domestic distress. Naturally, people are willing to give payday loans to also see Tiger Woods accident photos.
I’d give payday loans to keep this stuff out of the news
In a perfect world, people wouldn’t have this kind of stuff occupying their minds, but since how we lived is pretty far removed from how we ought, down to the meat of the thing. Rachel Uchitel vehemently denied the affair rumors, essentially saying that she and Tiger haven’t so much as spoken on the phone, and not only that, she might be about to sue the National Enquirer for defamation, (according to the Huffington Post). So it looks like there isn’t anything to it. (Get hobbies, people. Seriously. I hear model airplanes are a great challenge. You could also get the guitar out of the closet and finally learn to play.)
Oh – and he had a traffic accident too!
To top all this off, he also got himself into a little traffic blunder. Apparently, he left his house after 2 am and crashed his car, but wasn’t drinking. He hit a fire hydrant, then a tree. This is according to an article in the New York Post. That said, the airbags never deployed, meaning he was going slower than 33 mph, and though he hasn’t been hauled in by the fuzz, charges are said to be forthcoming. One must wonder if it strikes anyone else as ironic that Tiger Woods, one of the greatest long ballers of all time, might be facing charges related to – pause for effect – driving?
Don’t get me wrong – I do hope he’s OK.
Don’t misunderstand me; it isn’t as if I have anything against Tiger Woods, because I don’t. Thankfully, neither he nor anyone else was injured, and he appears to be home safely. I also don’t have anything against the great game of golf, though I find it boring to watch on television. Frankly, if he is having marital problems, that is between him, his wife, and any other involved parties which as of now includes the Florida Highway Patrol. Why anyone cares about these ‘incidents’ is beyond me, when we could all get some instant cash and find something more constructive to do.
This Rachel Uchitel girl has been getting a lot of attention lately. According to several sources, Uchitel has a reputation of dating married celebrities. Just a few weeks ago, her name appeared on several websites because of her alleged affair with Bones star David Boreanaz. I’m not sure whether these allegations are true, but fellas… you might want to keep an eye out on this one.