She Says She’s a Real Vampire
This woman says that she is a vampire-model-actress. Her name is Seregon O'Dassey. You know you want to know her. (Photo: youtube.com)
This Halloween, some people will be dressing up as vampires. Whether they’re inspired by “Twilight,” “True Blood” or one of the myriad vampiric fables, otherworldly skin tone, eyes and the archetypal fangs will be dripping for good times that night. Some will go to great lengths for realism, and the countless squibs alone could prompt them to seek the financial aid of cash advances. Luckily, once Halloween has come and gone, most people stop being vampires.
But Not Seregon O’Dassey
In her case, I’ll give her a pass. She can do whatever she wants. I’ll play Renfield, even.
As a recent interview in New York Timeout indicates, Seregon O’Dassey is a New York vampire-model-actress. October is one of her busiest months, as she makes the rounds of various vampire parties. Couple that with horror film appearances and private consumption of hemoglobin and you have yourself a very busy woman.
Does She Actually Drink Blood?
Seregon O’Dassey (aka Saragon Odasi by Googlers who cannot spell) tells New York Timeout that she does not do so on a regular basis. I imagine she also does not take out cash advances in order to buy the vino from an underground blood bank. It’s dependent upon mood and is always private. “I don’t have a craving and grab a random person,” she says. She simply waits for her boyfriend to have a kitchen mishap, then she licks her lips with longing and delight. However, she also indicates that she occasionally cuts herself on purpose, which is never advisable. Personally, I’d offer Seregon O’Dassey my services as a therapist, but only in the private reaches of a dark Victorian castle. Seriously, perhaps real therapy is advisable?
She is… Monogamous… in Her Vampiric Ways
I’m reminded of an old SNL sketch where James Woods is Dracula and he interviews women for their histories before biting. “Are you… monogamous?” he asks in the corniest Transylvanian accent possible. Well James, Seregon O’Dassey keeps her proclivities between herself and her committed boyfriend. She travels in various circles in Manhattan and surrounding areas where some are not so discriminating, but Seregon is concerned about safety in this regard.
This Subculture Has Clans and Government
When asked about the structure of it all, Seregon O’Dassey says that “You have people you report to. You go to your sire, if you have one. Then who’s in charge of your house or order. Or if you belong to a court, you go up to your chain of command until you get to your regent. It’s like the President with your legislative branches, and each state has a government, each city has a mayor.”
Who Knew it Was So Thought Out?
I’m thinking capes, makeup, dental enhancement and at best squibs. All of that would be expensive enough to require cash advances, but imagine how much money it takes to prop up vast system of vampire governments. This is beyond anything I’d imagined about the vampire community.
It’s good to know that Seregon O’Dassey could take charge if she wanted to. But she says acting keeps her too busy to attend to vassals and such.
Goth, Punk, Cyber Goth – It’s All Vampire to Seregon
They youngest “vampires” tend to be less elegant, says Seregon O’Dassey. And “Twilight” doesn’t get it right, apparently. She places herself in the more elegant older crowd. The fineries of vampire court life must be expensive – and you know where I’m going with, don’t you? – they must need cash advances from time to time to keep the silks flowing over their pallid epidermises. Badda bing!
Thick, Rich and Dirty
Apply Now!Even metallic. That’s how Seregon O’Dassey describes the taste of blood. I would tend to agree, but please don’t mistake me for a vampire. I just like to know how certain things taste. But I’d never go so far as to adopt a vampire lifestyle. Too rich for my blood, I’d say. Cash advances can float a budget for a short period of time, but if you’re sure you must become a fully festive vampire, you’ll probably be looking at a larger cash outlay than short term loans were intended.
Oh, just go have a happy Halloween already…
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Vampires…don’t exist. Except in Congress! (Oh, how am I not supposed to make that joke?) You know, most people give up the fantasy stuff once they hit a particular age, usually the age of reason. When I was a kid, it was just after the age of Dungeons and Dragons and the era of Magic the Gathering. And yeah, I played, but I stopped about the time I hit the 8th grade. (Silly stuff like sports took more of my time, and then there was that whole…learning musical instruments, and later, A JOB.)
There are no real vampires out there. They are people, real human beings, who want to believe they’re something above normal and out of the ordinary. No one is born a blood thirsting vampire who must hunt and kill people to survive. It’s really a thing of choice.