Ted Williams’ Frozen Head Allegedly Abused by Alcor

Dome of “The Splendid Splinter” Used for Batting Practice

A cast of Ted Williams' head. Would you deep freeze a head like that so you could play a game of pepper, I ask you? (Photo: metapedia.com)

When Baseball Hall of Fame outfielder Ted Williams died at the age of 83 in 2002, he was cryogenically frozen by the Alcor Life Extension Foundation of Scottsdale, Arizona. As the company’s name indicates, the hope was that Williams could eventually be revived once medical technology had advanced enough to resuscitate “Teddy Ballgame.” In the meantime, the cryogenic treatment kept Ted Williams’ head on ice. This service has been provided at no doubt what amounts to great expense, the kind of expense that would drive people to a personal loan company just to keep up with freezer fees.

But Who Watches the Head Watchmen?

All is not rife at Alcor, alleges an upcoming book entitled “Frozen.” There are allegations that Ted Williams’ head has been abused. FOX Sports reports that Larry Johnson, former Alcor COO, alleges in the book that Williams’ head was “repeatedly abused” by untrained workers. The abuse wasn’t even casual, says Johnson. “Gruesome” is the operative word.

MLB’s Last .400 Hitter Reduced to Batting Practice Head

Johnson’s allegations are shocking to anyone with a modicum of human decency, but they are particularly troubling to the Williams family and baseball fans everywhere. Ted Williams used to say that when he went walking down the street, he wanted people who saw him to say, “There goes the greatest hitter who ever lived.” I’m sure he had no idea that his frozen cranium would ever be on the receiving end of the punishment he gave to Major League baseballs from 1939 to 1960. He put pitchers out of work with regularity. If that happened today, they could have gone to a personal loan company. However, such safe consumer businesses didn’t begin to appear in earnest until the 1980s.

Tales From the Frozen Ballyard

As the story goes, Ted Williams head was removed from his body in a haphazard fashion by untrained Alcor employees. Next – and this sounds more like a scene from a Kevin Smith film or an episode of “Family Guy” – Ted Williams’ severed head was allegedly “used for batting practice by a technician trying to dislodge it from a tuna fish can,” according to “Frozen.” Aside from Williams’ head being battered by what you’d suppose to be drunken yahoos on the job, there are also allegations that live dogs were dismembered at Alcor and injected with chemicals for “experimental purposes.” Other bodies may have also been used and abused.

The COO Wore a Wire to Work

Johnson had been the chief operating officer at Alcor for eight months before he realized that something wasn’t right behind the scenes of his company. In 2003, he began wearing a wire to work in order to record the shenanigans. Audio recordings and photos were supposedly used to help compose “Frozen,” although I’m wondering whether he ever took the information to the authorities. If he was innocent of wrongdoing, what would he have to worry about?

You, however, appear to be innocent of most heinous wrongdoing. I can tell. So if you ever need cash assistance in a pinch, step up to the plate and apply for a payday loan from a personal loan company.

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