Does ‘Rush Limbaugh Diet’ Sound Like an Oxymoron To You, Too?

Does Rush Limbaugh have all the answers?

America's favorite health consultant.

When I first heard of the “Rush Limbaugh Diet,” I thought “Why would anyone want to go on that?” Because last time I saw Rush Limbaugh, I certainly did not envy his body type. Turns out, I don’t look at him very often. The last time I saw Rush Limbaugh was about 60 pounds ago.

So, now people want to find out about the Rush Limbaugh diet. What is his magical, ingenious weight loss secret?

Rush Limbaugh shows … common sense?

Just as I wouldn’t have thought to look to Rush Limbaugh for diet advice, I wouldn’t expect pure, unadulterated common sense out of him either. OK, so here is the part where I have to admit that I am not a Rush Limbaugh fan. If you are, you’re probably not going to like this article very much. In fact, you’re going to hate it. You’ll hate it more than having to pay late fees on short term loans. If you’re a Rush Limbaugh fan, stop reading right now.

There. You’ve been warned. So, it turns out that the Rush Limbaugh diet, his magical ingenious weight loss secret, is to cut down your calories, eat a mixture of fruit, vegetables, carbohydrates and protein, and eat real food, not processed junk. Wow, how did he come up with this stuff? Quick Weight Loss Center is getting some of the credit for this Rush Limbaugh diet business, and there’s no doubt the company will make a whole bundle of money off this

Have some confidence, America

So, now all of Rush Limbaugh’s loyal followers are begging him to share the “Rush Limbaugh diet.” These people want menus, recipes, every tiny detail. They are apparently complaining that he isn’t giving “an explanation.” He, for once, seems to recognize how ridiculous his audience is. Here’s what he had to say about the whole thing:

I’m getting so many e-mails — because people see my weight loss on the Dittocam — and I’m getting so many e-mails, “Why can’t you tell us what –” Folks, it’s not that I won’t tell you, it’s just I can’t. It’s too complicated. I mean putting the menu together is a jigsaw puzzle every day. It would take me 45 minutes every day to tell you what the diet plan is and answer all your questions about why it works. All I can tell you is is that it’s about 1500 calories a day, but you don’t count ‘em. I don’t know the caloric intake of one thing I’m eating. All I know is that it adds up to about 1500 calories. It’s a factor, but it is the way the proteins, the complex carbs and the fats and even some fruit get put together during the course of the day. For example, you cannot have two proteins at one meal. So I cannot have one night Surf and Turf. I can have five and a half ounces of fillet, seven ounces of chicken or fish, but I can’t combine it. I can’t have three ounces of beef and four ounces of fish. I don’t know why. I just follow it and it works. I’ve never lost weight faster than this diet. But it’s not that I don’t want to tell you; it’s just I can’t. “Well, why don’t you put the menu up?” Because I’d have to put the recipes up and it’s not the business I’m in.

Wow, leave it to Rush Limbaugh to make a one thousand year-old bit of common sense sound like something impossible to explain. I guess he’s just used to just being able to say whatever he wants without having to use logic to explain it. It isn’t that he can’t explain it, people. It’s that the explanation has been around forever. Here’s your explanation: If you cut down on the number of calories you eat and stick to a sensible, healthy diet, you’ll lose weight. Capicé?