Biden Spills Bunker Beans, Cheney Locks and Loads

Biden Reveals Location of Secret VP Bunker

It’s good to know that in the event of a financial disaster, cash loans are available to carry you into your next paycheck. Taking a cash loan is an efficient, inexpensive means of obtaining additional capital when surprises take a chunk our of your budget.

Right about now, political advisers would like to take a chunk out of Vice President Joe Biden. He has inadvertently revealed the location of the (now) Biden bunker that was intended to save the life of America’s Vice President in the event of a terrorist attack (or Amtrak quarantine)…

Whoopsie daisy!

Slips of the tongue are one thing. They happen to all of us. However, when you’re dealing with sensitive information that relates to America’s national security, you have to be able to keep things under your hat – like the location of the Biden bunker!

Jonathan Passantino reports (http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/05/17/oops-biden-reveals-location-secret-vp-bunker/) for Fox News that Vice President Joe Biden may have “finally outdone himself.” The location of the Biden bunker is likely classified. It is supposed to save his life.

According to reports, Biden was substituting for President Obama at the Gridiron Club dinner in Washington, which is a  yearly schmooze-fest between politicians and the media elite. While regaling scribes with tales of Vice Presidentry, Biden decided to kick the party up a notch by inviting everyone back to his crib at the old U.S. Naval Observatory. It just so happens, he intimated, that there’s a secret shelter underneath where they could play with his model train collection. I exaggerate here, but the reality is that the Biden bunker has been compromised.

Cheney hid there during 9/11

The Naval Observatory has been called home by sitting vice presidents since 1974. Former Vice President Dick Cheney allegedly hid in the Biden bunker (it was actually the Halliburton bunker then) during the fallout of 9/11. One would hope that his gun play was limited to Nintendo’s “Duck Hunt” during that time.

And then the president has a place…

Eleanor Clift of Newsweek said Biden revealed the location of the Biden bunker at the dinner. He was filling in for President Obama, who is only the second president since Grover Cleveland to skip the Gridiron Club dinner. Clift’s account is as follows:

(He) said a young naval officer giving him a tour of the residence showed him the hideaway, which is behind a massive steel door secured by an elaborate lock with a narrow connecting hallway lined with shelves filled with communications equipment. The officer explained that when Cheney was in lock down, this was where his most trusted aides were stationed, an image that Biden conveyed in a way that suggested we shouldn’t be surprised that the policies that emerged were off the wall.

The construction of the bunker – if said “Biden bunker” does indeed exist – definitely riled the neighbors back in December 2002. Loud construction kept them awake at night, wondering if yet another Constitutional right was being trod upon by Mr. Halliburton.  Their response is that the work was “sensitive in nature,” “classified” and to be completed “on a highly accelerated schedule.” Their inconvenience was neither considered nor compensated.

The neighbors of the Naval Observatory said it seemed as though workers were digging deep into the ground, which could support the theory of there being a Biden bunker. No doubt it would have been funded by tremendous cash loans from taxpayers, dollars which would be repaid by arch cynicism and supreme arrogance. Cheney had his own set of rules, you see. Constitutionally protected citizens are just a squirrel trying to get a nut and a cash loan.

No swine in Biden bunker

As those who have followed the exploits of Vice President Joe Biden can attest, this Biden bunker guffaw is not the first time he’s put his foot in his mouth. Recently, at the onset of swine flu mania, Biden let it flow on television, claiming that if a member of his family asked him about traveling, he’d advise against the use of public transportation.

It has been revealed that the vice president was wearing a foam hand during the interview that proclaimed the superiority of General Motors, but I’m just making that one up. Biden also claimed that GM cars are immune to the swine flu, which is true. Your vehicle cannot contract a pig disease. Plus, Biden didn’t say that, either. But what he did say prompted an airline PR person to cry “borderline fearmongering” at Amtrak Joe. Stocks go down when important people talk that way, while the number of cash loans taken goes up.

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