It came from the sea
According to Blue Öyster Cult, we don’t need to fear the reaper. However, should we be afraid of the Montauk Monster and whether the Umbrella Corporation is operating the Plum Island Animal Disease Center off the coast of Long Island, New York?
For those of you who aren’t video gamers or fans of Mila Jovovich celluloid potboilers (those of you who don’t need installment loans and credit cards to buy movie tickets, that is), I should explain that the Umbrella Corporation is a fictional organization from the “Resident Evil” series. Their experiments in biological terror made life difficult for all non-zombies. In the real world, some people are afraid that the appearance of a decayed animal body (the “Montauk Monster“) on New York’s coast is indicative of foul deeds at the Plum Island Abandoned Animal Disease Center.
It clawed its way ashore
MSNBC reports that this has happened before. The recent appearance of the Montauk Monster on New York shores happened in July of 2008. Nicky Papers, caretaker of a Web site devoted to the nefarious legend, claims he was contacted on May 5 by a couple who believe that they had discovered yet another Montauk Monster (or the same, returned to the surfing grounds upon which it first sounded its barbaric yawp to a vulnerable Earth?). Whatever the case, the North Fork of Long Island was marked by the fiendish spawn.
After inspecting the remains, Papers exclaimed that “the beast smelled like a mix of low-tide and rotten garbage. It really smelled horrific. I couldn’t help but take numerous pictures of it and video clips.”
The truth must be found
Is it mere coincidence that Plum Island Animal Disease Center is near the miraculous appearance of the Montauk Monster? Pillars of journalism like the National Enquirer see the connection as clear as day.“If this is a genetic mishap from Plum Island, we’d like to sell the remains to an independent lab for study,” writes Papers. “It has become a race against the clock as the couple who originally found ‘Beastie’ are diligently putting more ice into the cooler to keep the carcass fresh.”
Shuffling his Papers
Is the Montauk Monster a hoax? Or is it merely a decayed raccoon as some animal experts have claimed? Whatever the case, Papers has been tireless in his investigation. He claims he has “dedicated quite a bit of time to debunking all theories presented regarding the Montauk Monster” since his Web site hit the World Wide Web last summer.
“I haven’t ruled out biological warfare on this yet,” said Papers. “A diseased carcass floating in waterways around Long Island could be infecting the water.”
Plum Island Animal Disease Center
Some less biological warfare-minded members of the blogosphere have advanced the theory that the Montauk Monster has appeared as part of a viral marketing ploy for an independent film. But the specter of the Plum Island Animal Disease Center simply won’t go away. Who knows what dangers – what unspoken evils – go on in those dark halls? The screams of the lambs never quite fade away. Sure, it’s shut down. Everything should be quiet there. But is it? IS IT? Perhaps George W. Bush and numerous presidents before him know the answer!
Beware. Take care. The Montauk Monster may rise again. Do you know where your installment loans and credit cards are?
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So they got pictures of Amy Winehouse sunbathing? All kidding aside, that thing is probably a fake, or a carcass that’s been deformed as it’s decomposing. It’s not exactly a new phenomenon – a lot of “sea monsters” wash up on shore, and get labeled as such because of the state the carcass shows up in. They’re called “globsters,” typically the decomposing flesh from a whale or a basking shark. The Montauk Monster is probably a hoax.