I went through a major crisis today – the internet was down

I live in cyberspace

I have an address and all sorts of people write to me every day. Most of them are greeted by my butler, Spam-killer, and others run into a blank wall when they try and enter. Only the good guys make it all the way through.

Surfing the web

The mail is the easy part of being up here. It’s what I do that’s complicated. I write articles on various subjects, so I am continually zooming in and out of Google, looking up some fact, then dashing across to see what’s happening in the rest of the world, back to take in the stock exchange prices, then a look at something in a dictionary, I attend to some question from a construction site that I am mildly connected to and back to my article. I do all this without ever closing a file or moving out of a website. When I need something new I simply open the browser again and go to another website.

Only the heavy breathing of the computer or some sly message about me reaching the limits of my memory slows me down and on those occasions it’s easier to take a quick Payday Loan, dash across the street and buy more memory.

Disaster strikes

All was well this morning. At about 11, I went to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, returned, picked up the mouse – no internet. Dead. Not a whisper, not a sign of life. I am reasonably technical minded, so I pulled out all the wires lying on the desk, plugged them back in, no change. Then I rebooted my computer, a major operation because it means exiting from all the sites I was in; no change.

I thought about calling my Internet provider and then I remembered what happened the last time I resorted to this – I sat in on hold for about 3 hours and finally the person who came on line and who sounded as though he was ten years old, said he was in Singapore and he couldn’t help me.

Plan B

Plan B is always the New York Times crossword and Monday is an easy day. I was back at the computer an hour later – still nothing. I went through all the technical operations again to no avail. I cannot believe that I am totally dependent on the internet. My whole life revolves around it and is directly connected to it.

The internet is very sophisticated

Thanks to the internet I no longer have to go to the bank to run my fingers through my money or shield my eyes from my overdraft. A few days ago I received a new internet surprise. My wife went for her annual blood tests. A few hours later I receive a text message on my cell phone telling me that results were being posted on the HMO’s site on the internet and sure enough, there they were.

There is now very little that one cannot do on the internet and for the work-at-home gang, it certainly makes life every easy.

But it’s shock and disaster when it goes dead in your hands!