How a man can wreak havoc on the family budget

Or should I have titled this: A blog for the men (only)

Note to the Editor: I will shortly need a major Online Cash Advance. Can you please pass the word down the line? With that said I now apologize to all the men. I am the guy who bats out these articles – “How to save in the supermarket”, “How to cut your spending”, “How to balance your unbalanced budget”. Stuff like that. I do it carefully and thoughtfully and I never suggest anything that I wouldn’t do myself.

I have to apologize to all men

Gentlemen, this morning I had a total breakdown. I spent money, I wrecked the budget, I sabotaged the family spending and I ran us into debt that will take a loan to cure. And it all happened so smoothly…

I sat down to write at about 10, decided on an article, wrote it, checked it and sent it off. At 11:30 I went to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. My wife said she was going to the supermarket, would I like to come. This is one of the hazards of working at home. You sit alone all day, no one to talk to and no interruptions. When a chance of a break comes along, no matter what it is, you grab it, just to change the scenery.

How to waste money with no sign of strain

Once inside, and this is where the problem started, my wife went off to the meat counter and I was left to my own devices. I ducked down an aisle and that’s when I saw the selection of olives. They are in open buckets so I tasted a Spanish, an Italian and then a Greek. I liked the Spanish best so I bought a small container. Olives are healthy food. They also go well with a martini mix. I also bought a container of olives stuffed with peppers. Then I weakened and took a container of the Italian and the Greek. They are pickled and they will last a long time.

Then I saw the pickled hot peppers. There were green ones and red ones and I couldn’t decide. I took a container of each to make sure I got the one I like. I checked on my wife and she was still busy spending money so I wandered on.

At the chocolate counter

I have a weakness for chocolate. It started when I quit smoking 22 years ago. And according to the latest medical news chocolate is good for you. So I took a few bars of the dark for ourselves, a few bars of the milk chocolate in case we have guests and a few bars of the white, for me. I decided to walk over to the meat counter and see what the holdup was. The chorizo sausages were in the first freezer. These are hot and spicy beef sausages from fiery Argentina, and they are one of my favorites. You can’t always find them so I took a dozen packs to make sure we have supplies.

The other men’s counters

I had 2 more counters that I wanted to visit, the nut counter and the cheese counter. The nut counter was easy. A no-brainer. I simply told the assistant, “A pound of each, please!” Do you know how many kinds of nuts there are?

The cheese counter is different. You have to stop, look, taste, taste and taste. I bought French Brie, Italian Gorgonzola, French Camembert, a chunk of Mascarpone, a container of soft Bulgarian and a wedge of Swiss Emmentaler. That’s when I heard my name being called over the public address system.

At the check-out I gulped, shuddered and paid. A guy’s gotta live, right?