I’m sick of this money saving and austerity, I’m going shopping

Yachtless in the Mediterranean

The Mediterranean is the place to be. If you don’t believe me, apply for a Payday Cash Advance Loan and pick up a flight to any port on the Mediterranean. Take a look at those Mediterranean women, sample the food and drink the wine and see what you are missing. Just writing these words has decided me. I’m off, but I’m going in style. I will sail in through the Straits of Gibraltar in my new yacht which I am about to buy.

Shopping for a yacht

Shopping for a yacht is not easy. I started by Googling “The World’s Biggest Yachts” and there I got stuck. My search ground to a halt somewhere between a yacht called “Al Salamah” which is 456 feet long and belongs to the Saudi Arabian defense minister, Prince Sultan bin Abdul Aziz. She has more than 80 rooms and a crew of 96. The 100th yacht on the list, “Polar Star”, is a more modest affair and only 206 feet long. Not for me!

Boats for sale

I went straight to the “Boats for Sale” site on the internet and began window shopping. A 38 foot long cruiser of 2001 vintage and much more my style is priced at $169,000. Not quite my price. Further down the list I found a 1998 model 29 foot long priced at $47,500 and even further down a 2005 Azimut 100 long JUMBO for $5,490,000. I read the specs and stopped my search. This is for me!

The spec

I have been a spec writer for much of my life, but I have never ever seen anything like this. “Custom fitted 550 thread count linens and mattress pads for each berth. Each cabin has its own independent entertainment system and individual SMX Climate Control.”

“The spacious owner suite is located below deck aft, and features a centerline island berth with embroidered Italian pique bedcover, a framed mirrored panel above, and storage drawers below. Three drawer night stands are located port and starboard each with swing out reading lamps. Enlarged opening ports with storm covers and pleated drop shades (both port and starboard) allow lots of light.”

“Entertainment is provided by a Panasonic flat screen TV with individual Direct TV box, and Bose Surround System. A second Bose system from the salon can also be used in the Master.”

There are pages and pages of descriptions like this. Then comes all the mechanical stuff, engines, generators, and a host of other equipment, including a water making unit.

Back on the beach

I guess yachts are out for me and I don’t fancy bouncing around the Mediterranean on a six foot dingy. I will take the next best thing, the beach. The beach will be full of unemployed guys just like me, lying there, soaking up the sun, watching the girls go by and drinking an occasional beer to stave off dehydration. The beach is free and the water is cool and refreshing. I can read a book or plug music into my ear. And best of all I can close my eyes, board my yacht and pretend that the financial crisis and my sinking pension fund aren’t happening.