What is a mortgage party?
This is going to be the party of the year, the biggest bash in memory. It’s not a celebration and it’s not a funeral. It’s called a Mortgage Interest Party. At this affair I am going to publicly demonstrate the way in which the bank does the interest calculations on a mortgage. The manager of the mortgage bank will be present and he will confirm that the bank, while not actually ripping me off in the calculation, is not my friend as I always thought.
Everyone is invited to come and watch me do mortgage interest calculations
Despite the hard time I am having financially, I am determined to go ahead with this demonstration. I am taking a Payday Loan to pay for this party.
My mortgage
We were newlyweds when we saw the cottage. Red clay tile roof, cottagy wooden windows, one bedroom and a living-room-kitchen arrangement that soon became all kitchen as we discovered the delights of cooking and eating. The price was about $4,000 and I never had a bean. I got on my knees in the mortgage bank and I was granted a mortgage of $3,800. I took a job as the night clerk at the local motel to raise the rest of the money. The cottage was ours, or rather, the bank’s.
Construction mortgage
Our first son was born a year later and I applied for an extension to add a room. It was granted and again I went back to the motel to raise the missing dollars. Our son had his own room. I owed the bank close to $5,000. A year later another son arrived and again I was knocking on the manager’s door at the mortgage bank to raise funds to add another room and again I returned to my job at the motel.
Major construction mortgage
1969 was the year we decided to add a proper living room and dining room and to remodel our kitchen. The bank hemmed and hawed for all of 2 minutes, told us what loyal and reliable customers we were and gave us a mortgage which was almost double that which we already had. All in all, I now owed the bank about $16,000. The 10 years of payments I had made, have made a small dent in the interest, but the account was now so confused with additions and deductions that I could no longer understand it. I think the bank had the same problem.
The house looks great and is very comfortable and we are enjoying it immensely. We applied for an extension to the mortgage to put down a pool.
A son leaves home
1979 and our eldest is off into the world to seek his fortune. I convert his room into my writing studio. The mortgage remains healthy but interest rates are up.
Another son leaves home.
The mortgage is static. I convert the new spare room into a painting studio. Interest rates up again.
We sell the house
Yes, it’s 1989 and we sold the house and bought this smashing apartment on the 45th floor of the new downtown tower block. Ocean view, airport view, tangled traffic views on all 4 sides. The mortgage is reduced. The interest rate on the mortgage balance goes up again.
2009. Mortgage blossoms.
The letter from the bank was a surprise to me. “You now owe $120,000. Please call in at the bank and talk to us about this.” How did this happen? And then it hit me – the interest rates and the interest calculations. There is no such thing as simple interest. Come to the party and see! Mr. Obama, since you are helping so many others with their mortgages, would you like to come see how you can help out homeowners like me?
I’ve heard of a rent party, but a mortgage party? Well, in this day and age it was probably an inevitability.