Payday loans for speed reading… NOW!
Payday loans for speed reading courses may be necessary for members of Congress. Don’t wait, learn it now!
Why? Because Congress has finally received the final language for the economic stimulus bill that is due to hit President Obama’s desk by the morning of Monday, February 16. The Democratic Congress gave their Republican counterparts their copies of the bill at about 11 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on Thursday, February 12. The document is 1,419 pages long. What Congress produces for President Obama’s approval will likely be longer.
According to Jimmie of the blog Sundries Shack, that means they have to read 2.6 pages per minute for nine hours, which means reading about 910 words per minute. Is there honestly any chance in Washington that any member of Congress is going to read this? They could try to speed read it, but are they going to understand the full ramifications of the bill? Not like this is important or anything…
No eating or bathroom breaks allowed
Or they’ll have to bring the bill with them…
Jimmie gives us more food for thought. Apparently, the average human reads 200 to 400 words per minute while they are “reading for comprehension.” Skimming might get get you to 640 wpm (top-end average skimming hits 700 wpm, but comprehension drops dramatically).
Of course, much of this depends upon the difficulty of the material being studied. Conveniently, Jimmie provides a sample page from the original Stimulus Bill, HR1. Or if you prefer, a copy is in this post. Read on, Speedy Gonzalez!
No Cliffs Notes allowed
How’s that for a speed reading sorbet? “Sections 306 and 310B and described in sections 381E(d)(1), 381E(d)(2), and 381E(d)(3) of the Consolidated Farm and Rural Development Act” got your mouth watering for more? Wait, have you cross-referenced materials on the Consolidated Farm and Rural Development Act? Hustle, hustle, hustle! And don’t miss anything, or you could cost taxpayers billions! They need to rely on cash advance loans more often.
Let’s be real. They aren’t going to read it all. Aides may summarize passages for them, but that won’t do it, either. But rest assured… your favorite politician will certainly know how much money will be going to their pet project! They just won’t know where all the other billions of dollars are going to land. And the bill will be passed on to you, dear reader.
Do something, fast! Understand?
President Obama and countless other politicians who wander near the red light of the camera or a whirring audio recorder have said that we have to do “something fast” when it comes to righting a diseased American economy.
But what is that something? And is it so unimportant that a bevy of self-interested politicians will pretend to read it and their constituencies will be OK with that? Cash Advance Mojo is outraged that something as big as this stimulus bill is going to pass across the desks of many of our elected officials without an in-depth review. They simply won’t be able to do it. Payday loans for immediate speed reading classes could help them make some headway, but the clock is ticking, ticking, ticking… time’s up. Fire up the magic money machine!
Related articles
- Rahm Steps Up to Take Credit for Stimulus Bill – Let the Revisionist History Begin (firedoglake.com)
- Lawmakers hope to seal stimulus deal today (msnbc.msn.com)
- Stimulus may be on Obama’s desk by Monday (cnn.com)
In a spending bill as large as this one, great care should be taken so that more understanding is taken on by our representatives in Congress so that we don’t end up spending ourselves into poverty. That said, some urgency is necessary, so that we can overcome the economic slowdown. I think that a lot of this package should be trimmed – down to the bare bones of job creation and an investment on creating industries that will last well into the future, to ensure continuity of growth.