Embedded War Correspondent needs Payday Loan for protective gear

Being a freelance war correspondent has turned out to be a rewarding career, so why am I looking for a payday loan? I need to update my equipment and it’s urgent.

My equipment basically means my protective gear. My helmet is about 10 years old and has a couple of holes through it where some ambitious sniper tried to make a trophy out of me. My flak jacket is older than the helmet. I can’t remember where it came from, but it was during heavy fighting and a soldier threw it at me and yelled for me to put it on. I’ve been wearing it ever since.

What’s in that big bag?

My work goes like this. I sit at home, or if its summer, I lie outside at the pool and wait for the phone to ring. “They’re fighting in the Congo! Get there as fast as you can. Usual rates!” yells the editor. I run inside, grab my ready packed war-bag with a selection of passports in the side-pocket and make tracks to the airport.

Inside the bag is an assortment of clothing for any kind of weather, my protective equipment, a couple of cell-phones, a couple of tape recorders, notebooks, pens, compass, keep-awake pills, sleeping pills, vitamin pills, disinfectant pills, antibiotic pills and a host of other pills to see me through day-to-day operations, a small camera, a flashlight and a shortwave radio so I can hear when the war is over. I also carry two laptops in the bag. Both are fitted with these air-phone things that allow me to send and receive emails from almost anywhere. Both laptops are pretty battered and need replacing soon. In fact that will be the first thing I do when I get the Payday Loan.

Where is the war?

The war is just about anywhere you can think of. Anywhere is Africa, parts of South America, the Middle East and Asia. The fighting is brutal and savage everywhere, and for me, the greatest challenge is writing about it and describing it for far-away readers. Every army, from the most rag-tag to the most modern, has state-of-the-art fighting equipment and this is the reason I am asking for a payday loan. My old protective equipment is utterly useless against most of the stuff flying around. If I am going to stay in this dangerous, but very profitable line of business, I need to have the best, up-to-date protection. I guess I should upgrade my life insurance as well.

Where are you now?

I am always on the go. At this moment I am freezing in Kabul in Afghanistan. 2 weeks ago I was in Beirut, great city with wonderful restaurants. Last week I was in Baghdad and tomorrow I will be in Gaza. There’s always a lot going on in this part of the world and sometimes I think I should be clever and come and live in the Middle East, closer to the action.

Where should we send the Payday Loan money?

I’ll list all my bank accounts and you choose the one most convenient for you to deposit the payday loan money. I can pick it up anywhere. Did I tell you that I don’t have a fixed a payday date – I hope that doesn’t disqualify me!