Yes, comrades, today is Festivus! To comply with tradition, I have a grievance to air: I may need payday loans to make up for money I missed out on because of snow.
The Festivus Pole
Yes, here in my hometown we got dumped on to the tune of more than three feet. I know a lot of people, including myself, whose paychecks will come up short because they had to miss work. Buried cars, canceled bus routes and general dangerous conditions have caused a lot of people to have to miss work. But we’ll talk about that later. For now, let the Festivus festivities begin!
Festivus history
Festivus falls every year on Dec. 23. As many of you know, this holiday was turned into a public phenomenon on the popular television show “Seinfeld.” What a lot of people don’t know is that the holiday existed in the O’Keefe family before “Seinfeld” was even a glimmer in Larry David’s eye.
Dan O’Keefe, father of one of the writers for “Seinfeld,” invented the holiday in 1966 to celebrate his first date with his wife (aaaaaaaaaw!). Dan’s “Seinfeld” writer son, Daniel, wrote it into the show and set the celebration date on Dec. 23.
Festivus is a holiday for the rest of us
The common methods for celebrating Festivus are the ones that were written into the “Seinfeld” script. For this holiday, celebrators must procure a Festivus Pole, which takes the place of a Christmas tree.
George’s father, Frank Costanza, insists that this is a superior decoration because it requires no ornaments. Maybe he didn’t want to take out payday loans to buy a bunch of glass balls.
The holiday comprises three events: Festivus Dinner, Airing of Grievances and Feats of Strength.
Festivus Dinner
There are no officially designated Festivus dishes. On “Seinfeld” the festivities included spaghetti and meatloaf.
It’s not the food at Festivus that matters. The importance of the dinner lies in the activity conducted during the meal. Get ready for …
The Airing of Grievances
According to Frank Costanza, “You gather your family around and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.”
Of course, this tradition takes on new life for each group that celebrates Festivus. Grievances can be aired against anyone, not just family members.
Feats of Strength
After dinner, it is time to perform Feats of Strength. Traditionally, the event begins with the head of the household challenging someone to a wresting match. It ends when the head of the household has been pinned.
Because this holiday was made public by a fictional TV show, I believe that Festivus can be whatever you want it to be. Mind you, I am not saying it is a fake holiday. It is very real. A lot of people celebrate it. But the point of the holiday is to defy tradition.
Festivus at the Deskivus
In the spirit of defying tradition, I am celebrating Festivus at my desk over breakfast. Festivus breakfast, for me, includes hash browns, bacon, sausage, ham, a biscuit with gravy and eggs covered in Tapatio sauce. My Feat of Strength will be to eat all of it!
I’d like to air a grievance against the snow. As I mentioned before, it caused me to miss a day of work. It also caused me to be late yesterday. There is nothing I can do about the snow, but at least I know that if I don’t have enough to pay my bills on time, payday loans will help me avoid black marks on my credit or getting my cable shut off.
This seems like a bad tradition to start, I mean as long as one needs to air grievances to your family. I know in my family this would erupt in an all out brawl so not such a good idea. And what about the strength thing, I know my mother is head of the household and I could pin her down in like 2 seconds so it would serve no purpose and isn’t the holiday season to uplift people’s spirits rather than to demolish them with negative comments.
(LOL) That’s crazy people actually celebrate this fictional holiday. I guess if it’s fun then why not, eh. Hopefully no one will need a payday loan for an emergency trip to the E.R. For those of you who have missed a couple days of work because of the crazy snowstorm, you might want to invest in a helmet and/or other protective gears for that wrestling match.
I also find tinsel distracting. Aluminum also has a very high strength to weight ratio.