Election Day is on its Way
Just one week away from Election Day
Economic policies, tax cuts, payday loans, and the war in Iraq are just a few of the issues this year’s presidential hopefuls are trying to tackle. With less than a week until Election Day, the candidates are doing everything in their power to win over the remaining undecided voters by focusing on these issues. I, for one, have had enough of the issues. I’m not disregarding the importance of the election, but I am definitely ready to sit down in front of the TV without being bombarded by mudslinging political advertisements.
Real Entertainment
As much as it pains me to say this, I’m looking forward to real commercials again—the commercials with cute, little jingles, clever catch-lines, and a product you can trust. I don’t know that the presidential advertisements can claim to have any of those things. All I know is that Super Bowl can’t come fast enough! However, I did have the pleasure of viewing the most entertaining political commercial I’ve seen all election season just the other day, and, surprisingly, it came from one of my least-favorite entertainers: Paris Hilton. Watch Paris campaign to be our Commander-in-Bikini—I mean, Commander-in-Chief.
One Nation under Paris
If Paris were president, this country would see a lot of changes. Isn’t that what we’ve been asking for—change? Paris has an edge over McCain because she doesn’t want to be “another old dude clich ©.” Paris would put an end to “player-hatin’ on the U.S.A.” and she’d cut down on tax dollars by eliminating the entire Cabinet, which she would replace with a closet, of course. Paris is also an advocate of gay-marriage, which is a major issue right now. Last but not least, Paris would relocate the White House to Maui. Paris points out that being president can’t be that hard; if George W. can do it, Paris can, too. Paris has got my vote!
Paris Protects Payday Loans
Maybe having the White House in Maui isn’t such a great idea. In fact, the United States would, without question, collapse with Paris as our president. However, I know one issue all Hiltons care greatly about is money and our financial freedom. I have no doubt Paris would wear any bikini and drink any martini in the name of protecting our financial freedom. We wouldn’t have to worry about McCain or Obama eliminating our access to payday loans. Paris would make sure all Americans could get payday loans, if that’s a choice they wanted to make.
To stop all that player-hatin’ of America, it will take a leader with charisma. It may just take Ms. Hilton. She understands what they mean in “Gypsy”: “Let me, entertain you, we’re gonna have a real good tiiiiiiiiime!”
Paris for President? That’s hot. Well, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if she’s more willing to preserve our freedom of choice more than the other candidates.